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““Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving””
— Albert Einstein
How To Strengthen Your Friendships & Be A Better Friend

How To Strengthen Your Friendships & Be A Better Friend

Taya Bregant
Self Development

This year, the World Health Organization has stated that there is an estimated “1 in 4 older people experiencing social isolation and between 5 and 15 per cent of adolescents experiencing loneliness.”

Even though the world has never been as digitally and communicational connected as it is today, the quality and quantity of our relationships are declining, where rates of loneliness around the world have roughly doubled in the last 40 years.

This fall in social connection is starting to severely impact both our mental and physical wellbeing and is not only a phenomenon that is exclusive to adults but children and adolescents too.

Today I wanted to look into why it is worth investing our time and energy into relationships and fundamentally how we can improve the quality of these friendships and other relationships because after all they provide a much needed sense of meaning and purpose ot our lives.

I hope you enjoy 😊

WHY ARE GOOD FRIENDSHIPS SO IMPORTANT?

There are many benefits of having high quality genuine friendships in our lives, which involves everything from our mental to physical wellbeing.

Some of these benefits include:

  • Bringing a sense of fun and meaning into our everyday

  • Finding a sense of belonging and community

  • Challenging us to be better (teaching us)

  • Promoting stress relief

  • Boosting our self esteem and confidence

  • Providing emotional support when we are feeling low or lonely

IMPROVING YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

Consistently Making An Effort

Any relationship, whether it is a friendship, a romantic one, or a family bond, requires consistent effort and time to be invested in it. This is what enables you to truly get to know the person more and form a closer bond with them.

Although we all have our own priorities and occupations in our everyday lives, it is important to make time for the people who matter to us, fundamentally those people who love and support us back.

Any relationship is a two-sided commitment and investment, and if that is truly practiced, genuine and trusting relationships can add so much meaning and value to your life.

I am not saying that all your relationships need to be of equal intensity or that you have to be best friends with every friend you have. But with those people that you really do feel close to, take time or schedule ahead of time to talk or meet up and nurture that bond because it won't just build itself.

You will naturally get along with some people better than others, and that is totally normal. Just remember to also put in the time with people who are putting their time into yours.

Brightening Their Day

A large part of why we find relationships so valuable and enjoyable is because they can have a profound impact not just on our mood and feelings but also on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Most of us have likely experienced how much more elevated and boosted our mood is after hanging out with a good friend. This can, at the end of the day, shift our whole perspective on how the day went, even if the rest of the day wasn't that good.

Ask yourself what little acts of kindness you could do for your friends today that would help brighten their day even just a little. This could be sending them a thank-you note or a message of encouragement and support. It could be planning something special for them, buying a small but thoughtful gift that they would appreciate, or laughing together about something funny.

Once again, if the people we hang out with brighten up our day, then it is also partly our responsibility to reciprocate that back and try to add a little more brightness, support, and humor into their lives too.

Being Vulnerable Together

Vulnerability is often what builds the closest friendships and relationships. It is the act of opening up about sides of ourselves that maybe we are not so secure or proud of, and fundamentally knowing that we can open up to someone about these things and that they are willing to listen to us and accept those parts of us is a fundamental aspect of why vulnerability is needed for building strong relationships.

Even though it may be hard or uncomfortable at times, being vulnerable with the people who love you back is a great way to establish trust and a sense of honest and open communication in a relationship, which further bridges the two people together.

So, the next time you are talking or seeing your friend or romantic partner, consider how you could, at appropriate times, be more vulnerable with them or express some things that you are currently struggling with or maybe parts of your past that you are working through.

Remember to start off easy, and if the other person is a true friend, then they will also stay to listen to your vulnerabilities and create a safe space for you to share these things together.

Adding In Novelty

Sometimes, we may feel that some of our relationships have grown stagnant or uninteresting over the years, and often, that is the case because we sense an expected routine in place, which makes the relationships seem less exciting and quite repetitive.

One great way to overcome this is to seek to do more novel and new things together. This could mean traveling somewhere new together, trying out a new restaurant, going on a hike together, or joining an artistic workshop together.

The activity you do together doesn't really matter as long as both of you enjoy it to an extent. By doing this, you can create valuable memories along the way and, not to mention, learn so much about each other too - overall helping to make your relationships stronger once again.

Express Your Genuine Feelings

One of the most beautiful things we can do in a relationship is to show and express our genuine feelings toward each other or simply express how grateful we are to have them as part of our lives.

Although this may be hard to do at times, the effects of this can be very powerful because, once again, you are establishing solid ground for open and honest communication while letting them see how much of a positive impact they may be having on your life.

Most importantly, with whatever you say to them, aim for it to be genuine and from the heart; otherwise, it doesn't really mean anything in the end. Be honest about the ways they improve or add value to your life, how they make you happy, and how they make you feel loved. Express to them how much this bond means to you.

You can do nothing wrong by expressing gratitude and kindness to them.

Being A Good Listener

One of the key skills that you can develop and work on in the course of a relationship is the ability to listen.

Now, many of us think that we are already good listeners, and, well, who doesn't know how to listen? But the truth is, many of us say that we listen to what our friends or partners are saying, but we may not be truly hearing or understanding what they say.

This is a crucial distinction because the best way to listen is not to push forward any of your own opinions and thoughts onto the other person but instead to let the other side speak, and for you to take in their words. One of the best ways of how to listen is to simply rephrase what the other person just told you, which shows them not only that you truly listened to what they had to say but also that you're not immediately pushing forward your own perspective on the matter.

Sometimes silence and really showing you understand is just what the other person might need, contrary to what you may think.

Celebrating Their Successes And Achievements

Whenever our friends or romantic partners achieve something they have been working on for a long time, or simply experience something good, such as an amazing opportunity or success, we should genuinely be happy for them and show how proud we are of them for getting this far.

You should never aim to undermine the achievements of those around you or feel envious when someone receives a great opportunity or experiences something amazing. Although sometimes envy or jealousy may creep up, it is important to note that if we are happy for them, then they too will be happy for us once we encounter success as well.

When we view life through the lens of scarcity and competition instead of abundance and cooperation, we begin to be envious of the achievements and successes of others. This not only worsens our relationship with the person in the long term but also undermines our own ability to attract amazing opportunities into our lives.

Therefore, always celebrate the hard-earned achievements of others, just as they will for you.

Establish Open And Honest Communication

It goes without saying that a relationship or friendship that is not built on the basis of honesty and openness will eventually experience cracks and rough times. Since you are not showing each other that crucial aspect of vulnerability mentioned above, it is harder for you to stay close to each other and be truly open.

Although it takes consistent effort and may, at times, be hard, being honest about how you feel, what you want, enjoy, or wish to change in any type of relationship is absolutely key not only for your well-being and the well-being of the other person but also for the whole future of any relationship.

With genuine and honest intentions come trust, loyalty, and a great sense of belonging.

Bring Laughter And Into Their Lives

One of the best aspects of socializing and spending time with those whom we love is the ability to share laughter and good times with each other, which can truly brighten up our day and change our whole mood and energy.

There are so many great ways to bring more laughter into each other's lives, whether it be by sending each other a funny text here and there, talking about a shared funny experience you have had, or even going to see a funny comedy or show. Find what you enjoy most because prioritizing fun and laughter in your life is a sure way of making it more enjoyable and worthwhile, all while strengthening your bond with each other too.

Be present When With Them

Last and definitely not least is the importance of being truly present with the other person when you are physically with them, or even when you are just having a conversation together through phone or text.

Take your time to focus on them and the conversation instead of being constantly distracted by your thoughts and environment, and you will see how much more enjoyment you will get out of the whole experience.

Being more present will also allow you to be a better listener in the moment, which in turn enables you to ask better questions and get to know the person even better - all in all, working towards strengthening that bond you have.

Remember to always appreciate and express your gratitude for the people you have in your life and those who truly love and support you. As a way of saying thank you, when being with them, choose to truly be present in the moment, and you will see how much your relationships improve.

KEY IDEAS

In todays blog post we discuss the importance of establishing deep and meaningful social connections in our lives and how we can best build such friendships.

SOURCES

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