Making The Best Of Your Time At University
They often say that university is the best time of your life, but in reality its not the act of going to university itself that can make that be the best time of your life but its more about how you actually spend those years of your life and what you make out of it.
For this reason I wanted to take the time today to give you some advice if you are a student, for how to really take the most advantage of your years spent at university and how to best use those years not only for setting up a good foundation for the further years of your life but also how to make it as enjoyable and memorable of an experience as possible.
Hope you enjoy this one :)
My intention: Give you some practical advice on how I think you can ensure that your years at university are spent well and will be remembered well :)
MAXIMISING YOUR TIME AT UNIVERSITY
Taking Advantage of Freshers Week
If your university organizes a freshers week, it can be extremely beneficial to attend. It not only makes it easier to assimilate into your new environment by meeting people right from the start but also provides a direct opportunity to ask questions and familiarize yourself with the layout of your academic surroundings.
Introducing Yourself to New People
Often, the only thing stopping you from making new friends is the reluctance or fear of taking the first step to introduce yourself to someone new. By overcoming that hesitation, you might forge a valuable friendship that could last for years. If you don’t try, you’ll never know what could happen.
Learning How to Study Effectively
As a student, learning and studying will occupy a significant portion of your time. By investing in learning how to study efficiently, you can master a crucial life skill that will make learning more enjoyable and effective. You will not only manage your time better but also ensure that you retain previously learned information, making the entire process more productive.
Saying Yes to More Things
University is a time full of unique opportunities and experiences. To make the most of it, stay open to new possibilities by saying "yes" more often. By being open to new experiences, you’ll meet new people, have more fun, and create valuable memories and friendships that can last a lifetime.
Establishing Good Relationships with Your Tutors
Building good relationships with your tutors and professors can benefit you in many ways. Showing interest in their work or enjoying their teaching style not only creates an enjoyable rapport but also opens the door to new opportunities, like receiving valuable contacts or being introduced to useful information or resources.
Being Open to Traveling or Studying Abroad
During your time as a student, you may receive opportunities for studying abroad, internships, or travel. Even if you aren’t initially interested, give them some thought. These experiences often provide invaluable learning opportunities and expose you to new cultures and experiences that are priceless.
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
Stepping out of your comfort zone is important at all stages of life, but it’s particularly essential during your university years. These formative years are when you’re often at your most agile, active, and healthy, making it the ideal time to push your boundaries and accelerate your personal growth.
Attending Career Weeks
If your university organizes career weeks or other career-related events, consider attending them. They offer a glimpse into potential career paths and give you the chance to meet insightful people and learn about the skills and qualifications needed for different professions.
Joining a Society
Joining a society can be a great way to develop a hobby, contribute to a cause, or meet new people. Especially for first-year students, societies can be an excellent way to integrate into university life, expand your social circle, and gain valuable experiences.
Speaking Up and Asking Questions
One of your main objectives as a student is to learn as much as possible. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, whether they are related to your studies or general life inquiries. Chances are, if you have a question, others do too, and it can create a shared learning experience. Asking questions costs nothing but can provide invaluable insights.
Taking on Leadership Roles
University is a great time to develop your leadership skills. Whether through clubs, organizations, or projects, learning how to lead, motivate, and coordinate groups can be immensely valuable in your future career. When given the opportunity to take charge, embrace it as a chance to grow and learn.
The social guide to university: making friends and keeping them for long term
INTRODUCTION
Making friends at university can be both exciting and intimidating. For many students, university represents a fresh start—an opportunity to meet new people, expand social circles, and create meaningful connections that can last a lifetime. But on the other hand, it’s also easy to feel overwhelmed in such a large, diverse environment.
In this post, we'll explore practical strategies to help you make more friends during your time at university and explain why building these relationships is crucial not only for your social life but also for your academic success and overall well-being. From boosting your confidence to creating a support network, the friendships you form during this time can shape your entire university experience, not to mention that you can gain life long friends during this process.
My intention: Today I want to give you 15 useful tips on how to find making friends at university an easier and more enjoyable experience as well as how to maintain these friends in the long run
15 WAYS OF MAKING NEW FRIENDS AT UNIVERSITY
Engage with classmates: When you start a course at university, make an effort to talk to others in the same classes. You'll likely see them regularly, so why not take the opportunity to get to know them better?
Study in communal spaces: Studying in public areas of your school is a great way to meet new people. Many students are there to either socialize or study, providing plenty of chances to strike up a conversation and perhaps even collaborate on schoolwork.
Join student organizations: If you’re new to university, consider joining a club or society. It’s a great way to meet people with shared interests and learn more about how the university functions.
Volunteer: Volunteering is another excellent way to meet like-minded people while working together on meaningful projects, even if it’s not something everyone is initially drawn to.
Attend classes regularly: Going to your classes and lectures isn’t just beneficial academically but also offers a chance to meet peers and form friendships.
Participate in school events: Take advantage of any events or social gatherings organized by your school. These are great opportunities to meet new people and broaden your social circle.
Connect with dorm mates: If you're living in a dorm, take the time to get to know the people on your floor or in your building. You never know who you might meet or the friendships you could form.
Attend Freshers' Week: If your university has a Freshers' Week, make the most of it! It’s a fantastic way to get acquainted with your university, socialize, and meet new people early on.
Consider a part-time job: Working part-time, whether on or off campus, is not only a good way to gain work experience and earn money but also a great way to make new friends.
Join extracurricular activities: Participating in hobbies, clubs, or extracurriculars that match your interests can help you meet people with similar passions and form lasting friendships.
Be approachable: A simple smile and open body language can make a big difference. Many of us unintentionally look unapproachable by focusing on screens or not smiling. Make eye contact and stay present—it encourages others to start a conversation.
Hang out in common areas: University and dorm common areas offer excellent opportunities to meet others, so take advantage of these spaces to connect with fellow students.
Take the initiative: Sometimes, all it takes is for you to make the first move. Introduce yourself, ask someone to join an activity, or suggest meeting up. Even if they say no, many times people will be receptive and appreciate the invitation.
Say yes to social opportunities: Often, we miss social opportunities simply by turning them down. Be open to saying "yes" more often. While it’s important not to overextend yourself, being more receptive can help strengthen your social network.
Join or start a group chat: Being part of a group chat is a great way to stay informed about social events and gatherings. If one doesn’t exist, consider starting one yourself to create more opportunities for socializing.
HOW TO KEEP CLOSE TIES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AFTERWARDS
Accept that you can't be best friends with everyone: After university, it's important to identify who your closest friends are—the ones you trust and feel most comfortable with. These are the relationships you’ll want to prioritize and invest your time in. While you can maintain friendships with others, it’s natural that you won’t remain close to everyone in the long run, and that’s perfectly okay. People grow and change, and friendships evolve as part of that process.
Make time for your friends: Regularly catching up with your friends, whether weekly, monthly, or every few months, shows that you value the relationship. This could be through text messages, long phone calls, or meeting in person if possible. By making time for your friends, you demonstrate that you genuinely care about them, which in turn strengthens your bond.
Bond over shared interests: If you and your friend share common interests or hobbies, use them as a way to stay connected. Whether it’s scheduling a jog together if you're both into fitness, or attending a concert of an artist you both enjoy, engaging in mutual activities can deepen your connection and create lasting memories.
Be accountability partners: Friends can serve as excellent sources of accountability when working towards goals or trying to maintain positive habits. Whether it’s encouraging each other during tough times or pushing each other to stay consistent with a routine, having someone you trust for support can be invaluable.
Be fully present when you're together: Especially if you don’t see your friend often, it’s crucial to be fully present during your time together. Put away distractions like phones and really focus on enjoying quality time, creating a deeper connection and more meaningful memories.
Be an attentive listener: Beyond just spending time with your friends, active listening is key. Show genuine interest in what they’re sharing and engage thoughtfully in the conversation. This makes your friend feel heard and valued, strengthening your relationship.
Be your authentic self: Your friends value you for who you are, so it's important to always be your true self around them. Whether you’re spending time together or pursuing separate interests, maintaining your authenticity will help build stronger, more genuine connections.
Foster open and honest communication: Practicing open and honest conversations allows for greater trust and deeper connections. When you share vulnerably, you invite your friend to do the same, and this mutual openness strengthens the bond between you.
Optimize Your Studying: Best Study Methods And Tips That Really Work
As a student, you spend a lot of your time behind books, in classes, or just in general learning things and studying, which is exactly why it can be incredibly useful to look into how you can make your studying more efficient in order to get the most out of the time you spend studying.
Below I have compiled a couple of ideas, some advice on how to set up your study environment to ensure an organized and focused space, then going into the best study techniques as backed up by science and lastly finishing up with some additional practical advice on how to approach your studies in the best way.
I hope that for those of you who are still in school or studying something, this will be useful because who doesn't want to make sure that their time spent studying is being used effectively?
My intention: Present you with the best advice on how to set up your study environment, on how to approach your studies, and which study methods are actually scientifically proven to work best.
SETTING UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT
How successful your studiying will turn out to be, is largely dependant on the desing of your environment in which you study.
Here are some things to consider in terms of how to best arrnage your study space and also to ensure you will be well rested and be able to focus well:
Sleeping well: It goes without saying, but making the time to sleep well is absolutely essential for your studies. Try to aim for a good 8 hours of sleep each night and to try and get up at a decently early time to ensure that you are able to make proper use out of your day and better handle with whatever schedule changes may occur.
Removing all distractions: Distractions nowadays come in many forms, raging from digital notifications and sounds to distracting objects or activities within our field of view. So make sure that before you start studying or tackling a piece of work, to remove such objects or digital temptations o ensure that your focus can be at its peak.
Changing your study environment: For some people it works well to always be studying or working in the same envirment, but sometimes when you find yourself loosing focus or motivation to study, one of the best things can be to change your study scenry. Consider perhaps working in someplace new, like a library, a coworking space, a local cafe. Experiment what works for you and see in what environment, wether it be busy, noise or quiet, you work best in.
Stick with what environment works for you: Similarly, if you know that you always focus well in a certain environment, it makes a lot of sense to continue studying there and make the best use of it. Often why this happens is that through habitation, our brains become used to associating a certain environment with a specific function, such as studying., which means that as soon as we enter that environment, we automatically transition into a productive work mindset.
Noise environment: Some people study best when accompanied by music but sometimes, depending on the kind of material you are studying, that may not be the most effecitve approach, where sometimes silence really is the best choice or pehraps even nature based sounds such as waves or the rain could be helpful too. Once again, experimentation is improtant here so that you can figure out what sticks best for you.
Healthy snacks: Studying is energetically intensive for your brain, especially since you are asked to think and concentrate, so having some snacks on hand for during your studying or during your study breaks is very useful. Instead of opting for highly processed snacks of foods with a lot of refined sugars, opt for more natural varieties that will still provide you with ample energy but will not come with the unpleasant sugar crashes that are often associated with highly processed foods. Some examples of healthy snacks options include any piece of fruit, trail mix, a yoghurt mixes with your toppings of choice, a smoothie, dipping raw vegetables into dips such as humous or a nut butter paired with jam on a piece of bread
BEST STUDY METHODS
Active Recall and Retrieval Practice
Retrieval is the process of recalling information you've previously learned. It's an active process that requires effort and thought to remember specific information. By doing so, you strengthen the neural connections to that memory, making it easier to recall in the future. Retrieval methods are excellent for transferring information into your long-term memory and improving future recall.
Here are some ways to practice active recall:
Practice tests: Self-designed quizzes or online tests are great for assessing your understanding and recall of a topic.
Flashcards: These are physical or digital cards with a question on one side and the answer on the other. Try answering the question before checking the answer to test your recall.
Having A Revision Plan
Having a revision plan ensures you'll cover all tested materials in time without rushing. It keeps you on track by outlining what you'll study and when, making the whole process more efficient.
Revision plans are also super effective because they enable spaced repetition: reviewing specific content at scheduled intervals, such as every few days or on a set day each week. By revisiting the same material multiple times with gaps between reviews, you enhance retention even more than with active recall alone.
As your knowledge strengthens, the intervals between review sessions can gradually increase. This progressive spacing aligns with your improving retention, optimizing your study efficiency over time.
Summarizing Key Concepts And Ideas
This method, often referred to as "brain dumping," involves writing down everything you can remember about a specific topic after studying a set of materials.
It's helpful to formulate several subtopics within your larger topic to aid in the recall process. You'll likely be surprised by how much you can remember. Often, recalling one specific process, fact, or concept triggers the memory of related concepts, creating a domino effect. This technique is another example of active recall. First, you study the information, then close all your books or materials and use only your memory to recite the information you've learned.
Practice Teaching What You Learn
Once you feel confident with a piece of content and have a solid understanding of it, one of the best ways to further strengthen your grasp is to adopt the role of a teacher.
Try explaining what you've learned to someone else, whether they're familiar with the subject or completely new to it. In the latter case, it might be even more beneficial, as they'll likely ask additional questions. This process helps you expand your own understanding and adds depth to your knowledge.
Teaching what you know is highly beneficial because it encourages you to present the material in your own words and simplify complex concepts. This approach makes it easier for you to understand and grasp the essential elements of what you're studying and explaining.
The SQ3R Technique
The SQ3R technique is a revision method that enhances your reading comprehension and maximizes retention of the material you're studying. The name is an acronym for the five-step revision process:
Survey: Before diving into a larger text from a book, article, or textbook, skim through the sections to identify main headings, subheadings, images, and other standout features. This provides a structured framework for your study.
Question: For each identified section, formulate questions that relate to the chapter's content. Consider what you already know about the topic and what information you expect the section to provide or clarify.
Read: Go through each section while keeping your formulated questions in mind. Actively seek answers to these questions as you read the material.
Recite: After reading a section, recall the main points in your own words. Identify the key content and the questions you were able to answer.
Review: Once you've completed all sections of a chapter or longer piece of text, review the material you've gathered. Connect ideas between different sections and quiz yourself with short questions to test your understanding and recall of the content.
The Feyman technique
The Feynman technique revolves around explaining a study concept in the simplest way possible to someone else, particularly using your own words.
After explaining a concept, reflect on which parts you could have clarified or simplified further. Identify areas for improvement in your explanation. Avoid complex jargon and instead break down what you're studying into the simplest possible language. This approach enhances both your understanding and that of the person you're explaining it to.
The Leitner System
The Leitner system uses flashcards and spaced repetition to enhance your studies.
To begin, create a stack of flashcards and place them all in a box labeled "Box 1." Review the flashcards, moving correct ones to "Box 2" and keeping incorrect ones in Box 1. Repeat this process with Box 2, moving the correct cards to the next box.
Eventually, you'll have several boxes of flashcards. The box number determines your review frequency:
Box 1: Daily (least understood material)
Box 2: Every other day
Box 3: Every 4 days
Box 4: Every 9 days
Box 5: Every 2 weeks (best-understood material)
Mind Mapping
Mind mapping is practiced by many students as a revision technique since it allows you to connect many different concepts and pieces of information and to see how they overlap or link together. Essentially, it allows you to form a bigger picture of what you are learning and to summarize what you have learned in a concise manner.
Additionally, you can add further visual aids like diagrams or graphs to help with your retention and use color-coding or various written symbols to represent different things during your study process.
Exercising Before Studying
Getting in some movement before your studying helps with fighting fatigue and keeping your brain alert. Additionally, by reoxygenating your brain and blood, exercise is able to help with cognition and memory retention as well as reducing stress levels which makes it easier for you to remain calm and properly be able to process information and thus benefit more from your studying.
Additionally, exercise helps with enhancing your sleep quality which again helps with your memory retention and making you feel more rested and energized for the upcoming day.
Studying Before Bed
Some new research is coming out to show that it is more beneficial to study before going to sleep as opposed to studying in the morning. In some cases, this may be true because at night when you are sleeping, your brain is still going through the information you have taken in and processing it to make sense out of it. This makes it easier to recall this information at a later time and helps with consolidating the information into your long-term memory.
However, if you find that in the evenings you get too tired to properly study and be able to read and understand information, then studying in the morning will likely be more beneficial for you. Try both approaches and see which one works best for you.
EXTRA TIPS ON HOW TO APPROACH YOUR STUDIES
Now that you have your environment properly set up and are familiar with what are the best techniques for studying, I wanted to add in a couple of other important tips to help you make your studies both more enjoyable and more effective overall.
Prioritize your tasks: All of us have different things to do of varying difficulties and importance, so take a moment to consider everything you have to do in a day or week and rank it based on its difficulty, how long it will take you and how urgent it is to get done. Tasks that are both highest in priority, most difficult, and will take the longest to finish, are the ones that you should realistically tackle first and everything else can wait for after. Additionally, don’t try to aim to get a million different things done in one day, but even if you just get one or two really important things done in a day that is already a successful day.
Keeping organized: By keeping your study space organized both physically and digitally you will be able to focus much better as you will be distracted less in general and you will find it much easier to find exactly what you need for a given task and thus keep a clearer head during your work.
Taking regular breaks: To expect yourself to study for hours on end and to do so with a good degree of focus and productivity is very unrealistic. Instead, aim to take a break every 30-60 minutes of work in order to recharge and move your body or to talk to a colleague or friend. This will help you step back from your work and with that, gain a new perspective on it helping you to solve some issues which you had previously encountered. On this note, also take the opportunity to reward yourself when after finishing a successful unit of work or time spent focusing, such as calling up a friend, grabbing a snack, going out on a walk for some fresh air or just relaxing with some music or entertainment.
Studying with others: For some people it can work great, both as a source of motivation and accountability, to study together with other people. For others, this is not the best approach since it can often be too distracting or you just end up talking and not doing anything really productive with your time. So identify whether this is something that would work for your studies and see with what kinds of people you are able to work best with. In group scenarios, aim to help each other with your work and content, to quiz each other and go through areas of difficulty, along side keeping each other accountable with your time and intentions of the study session.
Pomodoro technique: This is a focus tool that is commonly used by people today where the purpose is to set yourself a timer for which you will focus, as for example 30 minutes, and then to afterward set a time for a 5-10 minute break. This method of working and focusing you then repeat over however many sessions you need or are able to focus on. During the time which your focus timer is running, really make an effort to commit to the content and to put away all potential distractions and obstacles to your focus to really make the best of the time you choose to spend studying
Ask for help and ask questions: During your studies and academic journey, you will inevitably encounter topics or concepts that perhaps are not directly clear or understandable to you, so in those instances, one of the best, albeit not easiest, things you can do is to make an effort to ask for help about whatever you are struggling with. This is not easy to do as it is not easiest to admit that you need help with something or that you don’t understand something fully, but it is 100x better than not asking and in the end still being confused about a piece of content.
Attending class when possible: On a similar note to the previous one, try to attend as many in-person classes and lectures as possible which will give you opportunities to ask any questions you may have or to discuss during class hours your findings or areas of concern with the material. Even if you find that you understand everything with the content and don’t really have anything urgent to ask, it is still helpful to come as someone else in the room might raise a question you didn't know you were also unfamiliar with or even better, you might be in the position to be able to help explain a concept to someone who perhaps struggles with a topic you understand well.
Avoid multitasking: This is another common piece of advice concerning any type of work really, where a lot of research has shown that by alternating between different kinds of work, we use up a lot more of our mental capacities since it takes us some time to get into a flow state once we switch tasks. Multitasking is not only energy-draining but inevitably also worsens our focus since we are scatting our attention over several different pieces of work which overall worsens the quality of our work. A better approach is to instead either approach each task one by one or to group your tasks in terms of how similar the kind of work is (batching) and to then do each task category one by one, again helping to keep your attention more concentrated.
Effective note taking: Taking effective notes is not an easy task since the best kind of note taking is when you intake a certain piece of information and rephrase it in your own way of understanding it and to then make a note of that. The point of note-taking isn't to copy-paste large chunks of text, all of which you may not even understand in the end, but to paraphrase a certain idea in terms of how it makes the most sense for you. Focus on making your notes concise and also draw out structures or ideas since pictures a great way for telling something in an efficient manner.
REFERENCES
Mozafaripour, S. (2024, June 7). How to study effectively? 10 Best study techniques | USAHS. University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. https://www.usa.edu/blog/study-techniques/
Roell, K. (2018, October 18). 10 ways to maximize your study time. ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/maximize-your-study-time-4016971
UNC-Chapel Hill Learning Center. (2024, February 19). Studying 101: Study Smarter Not Harder – Learning Center. Learning Center. https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/studying-101-study-smarter-not-harder/
Lparsons. (2023, November 8). Top 10 study tips to Study Like a Harvard Student - Harvard Summer School. Harvard Summer School. https://summer.harvard.edu/blog/top-10-study-tips-to-study-like-a-harvard-student/
10 tips on how to study effectively. (n.d.). Victoria University, Australia. https://www.vu.edu.au/about-vu/news-events/study-space/10-tips-on-how-to-study-effectively
Your Guide To Setting Academic Goals As A Student
With the back to school season right around the corner, I thought it would be useful to spend some time reflecting on how to best set goals for yourself as a student, especially when it comes to your academic performance. Of course, everyone wants a good outcome in their academics, and setting functional and well-rounded goals are a great way to achieve that.
Of course, these guidelines can be applied to other kinds of goals you want to set such as for example your health goals or financial goals for yourself, but today I wanted to specifically highlight how to best set academic goals for yourself.
I hope you enjoy this one and that you find it useful in your own academic success :)
My intention today: Introduce to you a set of guidelines that you can use for setting up your own set of functional academic goals.
WHY SET GOALS ANYWAYS?
I know there is a lot of talk nowadays about setting goals so whats the big deal?
Well, the main advantage of setting goals is that it gives you something to shoot for and a general direction to head in. It provides you with a well-reasoned and realistic way of approaching something which you want to get better in.
Goals encourage you to focus better and as a result, because you know in which direction you are heading, you are able to make better decisions. Additionally, setting high-quality goals keeps you focused and highly motivated because you know what you are working towards but fundamentally, also why.
I also want to stress that I don’t think its best to be extremely fixated on purely your goals but the idea is more to keep them at the back of your mind while your main focus should be your journey and the process. The goal is there to merely inform you of what direction you are going in, but your process and daily effort are what is key and what will actually get you to that destination.
HOW TO SET GOALS AS A STUDENT
Determine What You Want To Get Better At
The first step concerning the creation of your academic goals concerns the “what”.
It is all about actually asking yourself which area or what specifically you want to get better at which directly links with what are your current areas of weakness. So spend a couple of minutes thinking about what is an area of perhaps your studies which you consider to not be so strong. Here it is important to realize that areas which we want to work on do not only have to strictly concern the content of what we study but could also very well have to do with our study-related habits or even lifestyle changes that we want to make that will help us out on our academic journey.
Another useful recommendation when deciding what area you want to work on is making the distinction between what is in your control and what falls outside that domain.
For example, perhaps the subject of chemistry is your weakest academic area so you would like to improve your understanding of it. In line with this, you might set a goal that goes along the lines of “I want my end-of-year chemistry exam grade to be X”, and while these kinds of destination-based goals are alright, it is better to set goals that are focused on the process and the daily input, such as “I would like to spend 20 minutes each day revising topic X for chemistry”. This is because in the latter example, we have much more control over our goal and in the first example, the goal that we get in the end is yes, partially in our control, but partially also dependent upon other external factors which we can’t really influence. So keep this in mind, when figuring out what specifically you would like to get better at
Finding Your Why
Once you know what area of weakness you want to work on, it is crucial to consider your why - why do you want to work on this specific area of weakness?
This reason is entirely your own and will form the basis of your motivation and drive to keep going in those times where it may get hard or difficult. Your why gives you a reason and a purpose for doing what you do and for wanting to go after the goals you want to reach. There is no right or wrong answer here remember, only what feels right to you.
Some examples of wanting to improve in an academic setting ay include opening up further studying or career-related options later on, to prove to yourself how much you are capable of or enhancing your growth as an individual.
Creating A Functional Plan
Now that you have identified your what and your why, it is time to consider the how factors, meaning how exactly do you plan on reaching your desired goals.
A plan is there to keep you organized in your goal attainment but to also keep you consistent and on track. It makes the process of reaching your goals much easier because you already have a written out plan that just has to be followed through instead of wasting more time and energy into deciding what you will do, how you will do it and when.
A plan in this case often comes in the form of a revision planner to keep you on track with your studies but it can also include other things such as lifestyle habits you want to do on a weekly basis that will help your academics out or creating a functional series of reminders to help keep you accountable with your plan.
What kind of plan you end up devising and coming up with to reach those goals that you set yourself is entirely up to you, you just want to make sure that in the process of creating such a plan, you are being both realistic with it and adding in some room for flexibility within your plan.
Following Your Plan
Now that you have devised a plan for how you are going to reach your goals, it is simply time to put it to the test.
Try following your plant to the best of your ability for a week or two and see if you have to make any changes to it. Is it too rigid? Have you stretched yourself out too thin? Is the method you have chosen to reach your goal not effective? How could you make it better?
In order to keep yourself both accountable and more motivated in the process of getting to your goals, it helps to track your progress or to want to improve on something together with a friend or group of friends which can help keep you accountable and on track. Alongside all of this, you always want to keep in the back of your mind why you are doing what you do to make sure you are still heading in the right direction.
Lastly, remember that it is all a trial and error and that life is not perfect at the end of the day so don’t be too hard on yourself if maybe if some days don’t go exactly the way you wanted or planned out for them to go. The goal is to just try your best and giving your best effort is already much more than enough. That is all that really matters in the end :)
Try out these steps and let me know about your experiences with them :)
How To: Building Your Ideal Morning Routine
How did you wake up today?
For many people, the first few minutes after waking involve hitting the snooze button several times. After finally getting up—often later than intended—they spend a dozen or more minutes scrolling through social media or responding to messages and notifications from the night before.
However, research suggests that starting your day in such a reactive state can have serious downsides. It affects not only your attitude towards the rest of your day but also your health and mental well-being.
Beginning your day as described above can worsen your mood from the start and unnecessarily stress your body and mind in that crucial first hour. This can lead to lethargy throughout the day, increased susceptibility to triggers, and a generally unfulfilling day—all because we didn't start our morning in an energizing and fulfilling way.
It's therefore important to build a morning routine—however long or simple—that works well for you and your lifestyle.
Everyone has different lives, time constraints, and duties, so naturally, not every routine will work for everyone. The key is to focus on those components you value and that make a big difference in your morning. Incorporate these into your mornings as regularly as you can. The goal is to make your routine functional, practical, and energizing for you.
My intention today: I want to provide you with a variety of ideas you can mix and match for your own morning routine, helping you truly elevate the start of your day according to your preferences and needs.
I hope you'll find something useful here to help you build a morning routine that will inspire and prepare you well for the day ahead.
15 IDEAS FOR WHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR MORNING ROUTINE
Getting a good night of sleep the night before: Paradoxically, one of the best things you can do as part of your morning routine is to ensure you're getting a good night's sleep. This makes waking up at an earlier time much easier and helps you feel energized the following day.
Waking up early: Rising early allows you to get the most out of your day and enjoy some unrushed personal time before heading out.
Making your bed: This simple habit helps start your day off right. By making your bed first thing in the morning, you've already accomplished something worthwhile, which helps you tackle the rest of your daily tasks.
Movement: Incorporating some form of movement into your morning can be very helpful, waking up your body and stretching out any sore or tense spots. You don't necessarily need a rigorous workout; even a few effective stretches or a stroll around your neighborhood can be great options.
Eating a nutritious breakfast: While not everyone enjoys breakfast or makes time for it, if you're someone who does, including a nutritious meal in your morning routine can aid digestion and fill you with valuable energy and nutrients for the day.
Planning your day: Taking a few minutes in the morning to plan your day and set your intentions can have an incredible effect on your productivity. It helps you get more done efficiently and ensures you're approaching your day with the right attitude and mindset.
Making time for a hobby or creative pursuit: Another idea is to dedicate 10 or more minutes to a hobby you enjoy or a creative project you're working on. Many people find they're highly creative in the mornings, so if you can take advantage of this by fitting in some creative time, you might be surprised by how much you can learn or improve.
Spending some time outdoors: If possible, spend some time outside or get natural sun exposure in the morning. This can help give your body the cue to wake up naturally and allow you to get some fresh air.
Meditation: Many people find it helpful to dedicate a few minutes of their morning to some form of meditation. This can provide greater clarity of thought and help you approach your day in a more objective and calm state.
Connecting with loved ones or pets: Making time in the morning to talk with someone who means a lot to you—whether in person, over the phone, or via text—can add grounding value to your day. Similarly, if you have a pet, spending a few minutes with them can elevate your mood and make you feel more connected to the world around you.
Listening to a podcast or good music: Putting on music you enjoy or an interesting podcast can empower you to have a great day, spark new ideas or ambitions, and generally elevate your mood.
Drinking water: While it's important to drink water throughout the day, having 1-2 glasses in the morning ensures you rehydrate after a long night's sleep and helps boost your energy levels.
Not rushing: If possible, give yourself enough time in the morning to do everything you want without feeling rushed. A hurried state can add stress and put you in a bad mood.
Learning something new: Taking a few minutes in the morning to practice a skill or learn something new is always valuable. You might have less control over your schedule later in the day, so morning can be an ideal time for this. Expand your knowledge on a topic of interest by reading, solving a quiz, listening to an intriguing podcast, or watching an educational video.
Limiting screen time: Many people start their day by checking their phones and social media. However, this puts you in a reactive, almost autopilot mode, which isn't ideal for your self-esteem or motivation. Instead, try to completely avoid checking your phone and social media for at least the first 30 minutes after waking up. This gives your body proper time to wake up naturally, rather than immediately consuming media.
SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER
Now that you have some ideas for what to include in your morning routine, here are additional factors to consider for further refinement:
Amount of sleep you need to function best: This will determine the optimal times for you to wake up and go to sleep.
Your living situation: Your routines and daily flexibility will differ greatly depending on whether you live alone or have a family or others to care for. Determine when it makes the most sense to do each part of your morning routine based on your situation.
Breakfast: Not everyone enjoys or makes time for breakfast in the morning. Consider whether you want to include it in your routine and plan accordingly.
Getting ready: Realistically estimate how long it takes you to get ready in the morning—from waking up to leaving your home. Ensure your morning routine allows enough time for preparation to avoid constant rushing.
Time allocation: Consider how much time you want to dedicate to your morning routine from start to finish. This will allow you to perform everything you want in a relaxed manner while still keeping it time-efficient to fit your other daily obligations.
RESOURCES
Asana, T. (2024, January 10). Best Morning Routine: 21 steps for a Productive Day [2024] • Asana. Asana. https://asana.com/resources/best-morning-routine
Monroe, J. (2024, July 24). Morning Routines: 17 Ways to Jump-Start a More Productive Day. https://www.usemotion.com/blog/morning-routines?utm_source=google&utm_medium=18200160675&utm_campaign=149527366798&utm_term=morning routine&utm_content=657107900284&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwoJa2BhBPEiwA0l0ImATMVXTN3YmOgA-43MMqCTr7zf3HCT8LmdUIVGM0eC0vZII5lVaLERoCG1MQAvD_BwE
Chatburn, B. (2024, August 15). 30 Morning Routine ideas for energy and productivity. Camille Styles. https://camillestyles.com/wellness/morning-routine/morning-routine-ideas/
These Are The Best Habits For Your Health And Career
I have written about habits many times before and for good reason.
Habits are founded on routine, which again is based on consistency, which I wrote about last week here. This month of August is all focused on the theme of building consistency and the power that lies behind functional routines.
The magical thing about habits is that once an activity becomes habitual, it is drastically easier to execute and perform since it's already part of our regular routine or repertoire. Habitual actions require much less willpower and discipline to keep up, meaning that if we keep up that activity, we can successfully start reaping the benefits coming from that activity.
The habits which I talk about below are not only extremely beneficial when practiced over a long course of time but are in a large sense also universally applicable in various areas of our life. These habits have been split into two categories: habits which are beneficial for your career or work life and habits which are foundational for keeping up good health.
My intention today: Discuss 20 different habits in relation to your work and health and to discover how such habits can transform your life if applied as a regular practice.
BEST HABITS FOR YOUR HEALTH
Quitting smoking
Smoking is a seriously harmful habit which, if done regularly, can drastically increase your chances of lung cancer, stroke, dental issues, and other respiratory-related breathing issues that can greatly hinder your quality of life. Even though, as a frequent smoker, one of the hardest decisions you can make for your own health is to quit smoking, it is surely one decision and lifestyle change that is bound to have the best lasting effects on your health and well-being.
Wearing sunscreen regularly
The daily use of sunscreen greatly helps in the prevention of the development of skin cancer and sunburn while also preventing premature aging of the skin. If you are less concerned about the appearance of your skin as you age, then it is recommended as the bare minimum to at least apply sunscreen during the months of highest sun exposure and UV intensity (on the warmest and hottest months with most sun exposure) instead of every day or on cloudier days. Otherwise, dermatologists recommend wearing sunscreen every day, even on less sunny days, and in those instances, using a lower SPF is sufficient. Some time ago, I previously wrote about the importance of wearing sunscreen, which you can read here.
Daily movement
The benefits associated with moving your body are plenty: from better cardiovascular health, joint health, flexibility, improvements in posture, and increasing your overall physical strength and endurance. It is super important to stress that movement comes in many forms and doesn't only include the standard exercising such as going to the gym and running. Please move your body in whatever way feels best to you, whether that is walking, dancing, climbing, swimming, cycling, etc., you name it. I have written about the importance of exercise previously here, so if you are interested, consider checking it out.
Limiting or avoiding alcohol
Although an occasional drink or glass of something will not be the end of the world, alcohol, if drunk in excess, can also greatly harm your health. Excessive drinking of alcohol can cause various cancers such as those of the mouth, throat, and breast, while also predisposing you to stroke, heart disease, and liver damage. While you can have fun while drinking alcohol and every so often is no problem, please do not overdo it. If you want to read more about how to keep a more moderate relationship with alcohol, I have also written about it here and its effects on the body.
Drinking more water
This is rather common advice nowadays, but sometimes we are simply so busy or out of touch with our bodies that we do not drink enough water throughout our day. The standard advice is to drink 2 liters of water per day, but of course, that depends on your age, activity level, and also the temperature of the climate where you live. Making an effort to drink more water, of course, keeps your body and the cells of your body properly hydrated (the osmotic balance in check), which helps with your body's metabolism and energy production, improving the healthiness and appearance of your skin as well as improving the functioning of your kidneys and bowel movements.
Practicing mindful eating
Mindful eating is a rather underrated habit; however, if practiced regularly and with attention, it can have extremely positive outcomes with your relationship with food and other aspects of your health. When we say mindful eating, we refer to eating that is done in a controlled and generally slower pace, where we pay attention to what we are actually eating in terms of its taste, texture, and flavor. This style of eating makes it easier for us to sense our hunger and fullness cues, which can aid in weight-loss goals while also directly improving your digestion and overall satisfaction with the food we eat. Here you can further see the importance of this style of eating.
Getting good quality sleep
It is no secret that sleep is critically important for our functioning and energy throughout the day, along with a myriad of other functions such as boosting memory, helping with your immune system, and being beneficial for your cardiovascular system. By ensuring that you have some sort of evening or sleep routine which works well for you, you make it much easier to ensure good sleep that night. If you would like to know specifically how to improve your sleep or what the benefits of sleeping are, click here.
Time for meditation and stillness
Finding a couple of minutes throughout your day for silence or quiet meditation can also have profound impacts on your health, both physically and mentally. A regular practice of meditation can help with your sleep, anxiety management, as well as improving your emotional intelligence and stress management. Although it is not the easiest habit to begin practicing, I have previously written a blog post with tips on how you can begin practicing meditation and how a sustained meditative practice can help with your well-being. You can find it here. Additionally, a rather underrated way to add value and peace into our lives is to try spending a couple of minutes in complete silence each day while we are awake. Oftentimes, in this busy and fast-paced world we live in, we are exposed to so many sounds and disturbances in our environment that it is hard to truly find the peace of mind to calm down and be able to think clearly. So whenever you can, as during a walk or the first couple of minutes when you wake up or before going to bed, try spending a bit of time in complete silence, even if at the start it is rather uncomfortable.
Adopting a morning routine
Nowadays, there is a lot of talk about the power behind routines, especially morning routines, and for good reason. Although many morning routines that you can nowadays find online are, for most people, completely unrealistic and far too complicated, instead a morning routine should be both enjoyable yet simple and practical enough for you to actually be able to do it more or less every morning. It doesn't have to be long or tiresome, just something that makes you feel good and makes the start of your day feel right and on track. Next week's post will be focused exactly on this topic of routines, why they are actually a fundamental part of our day, and some ideas for what you can include in your own morning routines.
Moments of self-care and time for yourself
Finding some time every day or every week dedicated just for yourself and your own needs is extremely important in the long run for your own personal growth and general well-being. Here I don't mean just time spent relaxing or booking a massage appointment (which if that is what time for you means, then by all means go for it), but I also mean time for you in a more broad sense where, for example, you could read up on a book or article you find fascinating to increase your understanding of a certain topic, or to spend a bit of time every week learning and practicing a new skill you are trying to acquire. All of these activities are extremely beneficial since, at the end of the day, knowledge, experiences, and skills are the raw fuel that fuels whatever you want to do and produce in life. I have also written on the importance of practicing self-care here.
BEST HABITS TO BOOST YOUR CAREER
Practicing deep focus
In a world with so many constant distractions and things to get done, it can be hard to get any proper work done throughout our day. This is why it is essential to be able to block out some time during our workdays where we can truly focus on the chosen tasks at hand and do some actual deep-focused work. Whenever you can, try to make time for work such as this, which will allow you to not only work more efficiently but also the work you produce will be of greater quality. One way to implement more moments of deep-focused work into your routine is to create distraction-free zones in your home which are only meant for focused work and where all other distracting devices will either be completely omitted or put onto silent mode. Similarly, removing as many possible notifications and other unplanned distractions from your environment is also an effective approach to this. Here you can read more about how you can improve your focus abilities
Learning something new every day
As a person, it is really important that we never stop learning and that we continue going through life with an almost childlike state of curiosity to drive us to learn and grow. As a rule of thumb, try to learn something new every day. It doesn't have to be a very big or challenging concept or skill, but in this way, you can day by day become better by 1% which can over time add up to major improvements and growth in your knowledge bank. You can learn such knowledge via reading or watching an interesting video or doing a course or even an in-person workshop for a more hands-on experience at something.
Planning your day in advance
The main advantage associated with planning your day in advance is that the following day when you begin your day, you already exactly know what you have set out to do in that day and waste no more time or precious mental energy to decide what you will dedicate that day to. We actually use a lot of mental energy for making very menial decisions throughout our everyday such as what will we wear, what task should we start first with, how will I get from place A to place B etc., so if we are able to put some energy into thinking this the day before, the following day flows much more easily and efficiently.
Setting daily or weekly goals
I am a big believer in setting goals and setting yourself a general direction in which you want to grow or improve. On a more long-term approach, it can be very useful to set more long-term goals such as goals you aim to achieve within a year, however what often helps to make reaching those larger goals is to set smaller goals on a weekly or daily basis that will get you towards those bigger goals. For example, it is a perfectly reasonable goal to want to save a certain amount of money within 3 months, so to achieve that, you can put a certain amount of money aside each week for example to bring you closer to your goal. Similarly, if you have a goal to lose some weight in the next couple of months, making a daily goal of doing some form of movement for 30 minutes a day can with consistency bring you closer to your goal
Prioritizing your tasks
This goes hand in hand with planning out your day, whereby it is always useful if possible to begin your work with the most difficult or time-consuming task first which will then make all other slightly easier tasks go through more easily. Additionally, it is also important to note that each day, pick out 1 or a maximum of 3 main things which you want to get done, which is far more realistic than picking 20 different things that you want to do but not fully finishing even one of them. Dedicate each day to the completion of something, whatever that may be, whether it is to finish something for a deadline or to take 3 hours in the evening for your family.
Journaling and time for reflection
Journaling or the act of writing out our plans, thoughts, or experiences can be extremely useful in many ways. In terms of your career, journaling about your current successes and goals and areas to improve on can be both very motivational as well as giving you a clearer overview of where you currently are on your journey and where you are heading towards. Making the time to look back on your past work and progress can also be very informative to see what mistakes you had done, what you can learn from them and how to prevent the same mistakes from happening in the future. Essentially, through the process of writing or journaling you are able to distill your thoughts and almost view your thoughts and emotions through a more objective third-person perspective.
Investing in your social life and relationships
I have written about this in one of my recent newsletters where I mentioned that one of the best investments you can make in our life and especially when it comes to your career, is to invest time into the current relationships you have and also in adding new people and new connections into your life. Relationships of all kinds, if functional and sustained, should have mutual effort and time having been invested from both sides to ensure that a trusting bond is built. A variety of strong yet diverse social connections in our life can make our life drastically more meaningful and of course more enjoyable, since at the end of the day, humans are social animals. This doesn't mean that you now need 100 friends, but even if you have a handful of people with whom you are close by with, those relationships can be extremely rewarding.
Expressing gratitude
Although it is rather seen as a cliché nowadays but by intentionally instilling the simple habit of stating a couple of things which you are really grateful for, it can have a very positive outlook on how you see the world. Similar to meditation, you become more in tune with your thoughts and emotions and are able to step back for a little before saying something. Additionally, through gratitude you can reflect on just how many amazing and positive experiences you are able to have in your everyday and by acknowledging them, you genuinely become a more positive person which can help in further attracting new people and opportunities into your life.
Asking for help when needed
Sometimes we have the stubborn mentality that the goal is to be completely self-sufficient and to need to be able to do everything completely by ourselves which could not be more false. Stepping out of your comfort zone to ask for help or to admit that you are still learning about something and would need a hand with it, will save you a lot of time and energy in the long run. Additionally, by becoming more vulnerable with someone about what you require support with, you not only improve your relationship with that person but also up a mutual support system because everyone needs a helping hand with something eventually - and that truly is a sign of strength.
Asking for feedback and critique
If we want to continue striving for growth and progress, it can be extremely beneficial to ask for constructive feedback and critique from someone in the field of what we are working on. When given critique or feedback from someone you trust on something you produce, you shouldn't be sad or angry at the person offering you the critique, but should instead be grateful and try to take into account their ideas or recommendations to further fuel your growth. The exposure to external opinions and viewpoints can be extremely healthy in letting you know what you can still add or improve on which can bring your work and ideas to a completely new level of greatness that could have never been achieved if you just settled with your own view of your own work.
I hope you found some of this advice useful :)
Building Consistency - Finding Something And Sticking To It
Everyone struggles with being consistent.
It is no easy task. Staying consistent doesn’t only entail starting something but requires exactly what it says: consistency. Some sort of rhythm or routine which allows us to perform an action on a regular basis.
While consistency is hard to cultivate and even harder to maintain, there are some ways which I talk about below, that can make this process easier for ourselves in the long term.
Before we get into discussing a more hands-on approach for how you can build your consistency through any activity that you want to pursue, I wanted to first also briefly touch upon how we can benefit from staying consistent with something in the long run and what actually are the main reasons for why we fall out of being consistent with something.
I hope you find something useful and worthwhile in today’s post :)
Today’s intention: Realize how a steady-paced consistency can benefit you in the long run and practical tested advice for how to keep consistent with something.
WHY IS CONSISTENCY IMPORTANT ANYWAYS?
Here it is important to firstly clarify, that you do not have to be consistent with every single activity that you do, but rather to focus your consistent energy and intention on an activity or set of activities which you would like to build consistency with in the long run.
What you decide that you want to become more consistent at will depend entirely on your personal goals and passions.
For example, if your goal is to improve your endurance and perhaps one day be able to run a marathon, a useful activity to become consistent at would be going on a daily run.
Similarly, if you have always dreamt of publishing some sort of written text or book, then adopting a daily routine of writing or scripting can directly benefit you towards getting closer to your goal.
Consistency or in other words, having a set yet functional routine when it comes to performing an activity (whatever that may be), is extremely impactful in the long run because over time instead of purely relying on motivation or willpower to get to doing that activity, it will bit by bit become a habit of common practice. Over time, the activity will be easier to perform and you will face less friction when it comes to getting started with it.
Now why is this useful?
By building consistency and discipline with a certain activity, you are able to become a prolific goal achiever.
You are able to grow and improve in your areas of weakness and with consistent practice, get closer to your goals in whatever area of your life they may lie in, whether it be health, finances, education, career, relationships or personal interests. With consistent practice you are able to sharpen your skills and expand your knowledge of something to new dimensions, while adopting strong and healthy habits to support you in the process.
In short, consistency is important because by being consistent you can improve at anything you wish to work on and reach the goals you set yourself at a much faster yet reliable rate. And best part is, it can be applied to any area of your life that you would like to work on.
SO WHY IS BEING CONSISTENT SO DIFFICULT THEN?
That's a good question.
A critical study within social psychology from 2009 found that on average, it took the participants of the study between 18 and 245 days to develop a daily habit of doing an activity in relation to eating, drinking or movement.
While this range is certainly quite large, suggesting that the different kinds of habits that we want to form will require different levels of input and consistency. For example, the goal of starting to drink at least 2 liters of water a day will most likely require a different level of effort and technique than when it comes to wanting to adopt a habit of exercising each day for 30 minutes.
This is one reason for why we often fail at being consistent with something.
The other reason is that before an activity becomes of habitual nature to us, it takes a lot of willpower and energy for us to motivate ourselves to perform the activity and this accumulated over a long spread of time can be energetically demanding, not to mention demanding of our attention span which at its best on average can hold between 10-15 minutes focus (Bradbury, 2016).
Biologically, our brain is built to prefer the path of least resistance which translates to performing the activity that requires least effort. Therefore if we really want to develop a steady routine at an activity, we have to do some careful planning to ensure that the process will be an enjoyable one for us, since the consistency itself will at least initially, require quite a lot of our energy.
Therefore to sum up, being consistent at something is difficult because some activities naturally take more effort and time for us to make them into a consistent habit and secondly, before we turn an activity into a habit, it requires of us a considerable energetic investment to get us to perform the activity.
HOW TO BUILD CONSISTENCY
Now let's talk about some practical advice on how we can become more consistent at something.
Here are some things which have worked well in my experience:
Decide your what and why: The first step is to determine which activity you want to become more consistent and also fundamentally consider why you are choosing to focus on this activity in the first place. You want to make sure that this activity that you want to pursue in the long run is aligned with your goals, priorities as well as your values since this will at your core, be your main source of motivation for performing an activity, especially during the times when it might get hard to keep up the consistency.
Building routines that work: To help with your transition from using willpower to building a functional habit, it is useful to build routines that will make this transition more effortless. For example, if you want to become more consistent with wearing sunscreen especially in the summer months, it can be useful to keep your sunscreen in a visible place in the bathroom and to apply it during your morning skincare routine. Similarly, if you would like to adopt the habit of reading each day, you can tie it to an activity which you currently already do such as reading during your morning breakfast or coffee.
Find how to boost your motivation: In the initial stages before something becomes a habit, it is useful to look into ways to keep yourself motivated. One way of doing this is to measure your progress of performing the activity to show yourself that you can build consistency at something and to boost your esteem in a healthy encouraging way. A way to measure your progress could be to build a simple table like progress tracker or to have a calendar printed on your wall where you cross off a day or week of completing something.
Create accountability: To further help you in keeping consistent with something, it is critical to also build a system of accountability to further keep yourself on check and to ensure you are moving in the right direction when it comes to building consistency. Ask a close friend or family member if they would be willing to be your accountability partner to remind you to do your stated activity and to check up on your progress. Alternatively, you can get a similar effect from various apps that allow you to digitally track your progress while offering you access to a wide community of users that can provide you with the needed accountability.
Perfection isn't the aim: One last note which I wanted to emphasize is that in this process of habit and consistency building, we are not striving for perfection, meaning that if we occasionally miss a day or slightly fall off track, it is of no use to beat ourselves up about it. Instead, it is much more useful if we consider why we fell off track in the first place and to simply just pick ourselves up and start again. Not doing something for a day won't cause the world to end, so just give it another go. Doing your best is already enough.
REFERENCES
Lally, P., Van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.674
Bradbury, N. A. (2016). Attention span during lectures: 8 seconds, 10 minutes, or more? AJP Advances in Physiology Education, 40(4), 509–513. https://doi.org/10.1152/advan.00109.2016
People Skills: Why They Matter
WHAT ARE PEOPLE SKILLS?
Most of us have probably come across the term “people skills,” but what is actually meant by this?
People skills, also known as soft or interpersonal skills, refer to skills, attributes, and competencies which allow us to work and cooperate well with others. These skills are all about how we interact with one another and how we communicate and exchange our ideas and thoughts in social circles.
Since being able to work and interact with others is an integral part of our lives, whether it be in school or in career settings, people skills are extremely important in both everyday life and also for your career or personal ambitions.
WHY ARE THEY IMPORTANT?
So now that we know what people skills are, what are, in practical terms, the main reasons for why they are important:
They are essential for building relationships.
Make up the foundation of a well-functioning team.
They minimize social conflict and misunderstandings between people.
Enable you to influence people's ideas and views.
Being able to effectively advance your career by building useful connections.
WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIAL SKILLS?
Effective communication: Being able to communicate well is essential in getting along with others, persuading them, as well as establishing clear boundaries and expectations.
Having patience with others: Although some of us are more patient than others, patience is key to maintaining a sense of level-headedness and calm, which further facilitates the building of enjoyable relationships without immediately going after short-term rewards.
Emotionally regulating yourself: This concerns being able to keep yourself calm and collected, as well as knowing when to speak up and when to hold back your thoughts and words at appropriate timing. It means being able to properly react to criticisms and effectively deliver critique as well.
Showing empathy: Empathy is essential for trying to understand the emotional state of someone else to the best of our ability, allowing us to relate better to others, be more vulnerable with them, and show genuine interest in the other person. All of these contribute to making the relationship stronger.
Having active listening skills: Have you ever listened to someone but not truly heard what they were saying? This is because listening and truly actively listening to what someone is saying are two different things. Active listening means that you let the person fully finish their thoughts, and only once they finish, you first reiterate what they have said to make sure you have fully understood them, and only then do you offer them your own perspective.
Being able to persuade others: Persuasion is quite a complex skill in itself, but it is heavily based on empathy and understanding the other person's motives and wants. If you are able to blend in valuable social skills such as being a good communicator and listener, you are much more able to persuade others and even negotiate with them.
Showing interest in others: People love it when we show interest in their ideas, beliefs, or daily activities. This is not to say we should only be talking about the other person, but showing interest in others can make a great start for a new friendship. If you show interest in someone, the other person is much more likely to reciprocate that back.
Having a good sense of humor: Humor is a very effective way to loosen up tense situations and make yourself more approachable to others, as everyone appreciates a laugh here and there. Laughter shows people that you are fun to be around and that there are other aspects than work with which people can relate to you.
Maintaining honesty: Honesty is an integral part of building long-lasting trusting relationships. It can result in positive compounding effects since if people see you are able to uphold a genuine relationship, that will attract more people towards you.
Leadership roles and abilities: There will most likely be times in our lives where we have to take up some sort of leadership roles. Leadership, in itself, is very much a soft people skill that encompasses many different kinds of skills such as assertiveness, listening, clear communication, empathy, and being able to coordinate and organize people well in groups.
Having good manners: This is rather a basic but often forgotten consideration, involving doing simple things such as saying please and thank you or being truly present when someone is talking to you or helping someone out when they clearly need a quick helping hand. These small gestures can be incredibly helpful in accelerating your own relationships and add an element of respect to daily social interaction.
HOW TO DEVELOP THESE SKILLS
When it comes to building and strengthening people skills, it is most effective to go into the world and simply practice than, for example, to approach it from a more theoretical standpoint, such as reading a book.
Below are a couple of ideas for how you can sharpen your own people skills:
Taking part in more team projects where you have to actively practice good listening and communication skills, as well as leadership roles.
Taking an (online) course or workshop with other people whom you can practice these key skills with.
Talking to someone new at your school or workplace.
Keeping the above-mentioned essential people skills in mind when interacting with people you already know.
Asking people who know you well for how they think you could improve your communication or empathy skills.
Becoming more aware of your non-verbal way of interacting with people, such as the type of body language which you use.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall, having a solid set of people skills is essential for being able to properly work well with other people, whether it be in a school or professional setting. It is also a skill which is becoming increasingly more needed and valued due to the incorporation of more technology into our daily lives, where practicing these foundational people skills can add a much-needed aspect of humanness into our daily lives as well as building valuable and trusting relationships in the process.
Go out and strike up a conversation with someone new.
Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and work on these skills because they most likely will be more universally and timelessly, applicable than you can imagine.
How To Strengthen Your Friendships & Be A Better Friend
This year, the World Health Organization has stated that there is an estimated “1 in 4 older people experiencing social isolation and between 5 and 15 per cent of adolescents experiencing loneliness.”
Even though the world has never been as digitally and communicational connected as it is today, the quality and quantity of our relationships are declining, where rates of loneliness around the world have roughly doubled in the last 40 years.
This fall in social connection is starting to severely impact both our mental and physical wellbeing and is not only a phenomenon that is exclusive to adults but children and adolescents too.
Today I wanted to look into why it is worth investing our time and energy into relationships and fundamentally how we can improve the quality of these friendships and other relationships because after all they provide a much needed sense of meaning and purpose ot our lives.
I hope you enjoy 😊
WHY ARE GOOD FRIENDSHIPS SO IMPORTANT?
There are many benefits of having high quality genuine friendships in our lives, which involves everything from our mental to physical wellbeing.
Some of these benefits include:
Bringing a sense of fun and meaning into our everyday
Finding a sense of belonging and community
Challenging us to be better (teaching us)
Promoting stress relief
Boosting our self esteem and confidence
Providing emotional support when we are feeling low or lonely
IMPROVING YOUR FRIENDSHIPS
Consistently Making An Effort
Any relationship, whether it is a friendship, a romantic one, or a family bond, requires consistent effort and time to be invested in it. This is what enables you to truly get to know the person more and form a closer bond with them.
Although we all have our own priorities and occupations in our everyday lives, it is important to make time for the people who matter to us, fundamentally those people who love and support us back.
Any relationship is a two-sided commitment and investment, and if that is truly practiced, genuine and trusting relationships can add so much meaning and value to your life.
I am not saying that all your relationships need to be of equal intensity or that you have to be best friends with every friend you have. But with those people that you really do feel close to, take time or schedule ahead of time to talk or meet up and nurture that bond because it won't just build itself.
You will naturally get along with some people better than others, and that is totally normal. Just remember to also put in the time with people who are putting their time into yours.
Brightening Their Day
A large part of why we find relationships so valuable and enjoyable is because they can have a profound impact not just on our mood and feelings but also on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
Most of us have likely experienced how much more elevated and boosted our mood is after hanging out with a good friend. This can, at the end of the day, shift our whole perspective on how the day went, even if the rest of the day wasn't that good.
Ask yourself what little acts of kindness you could do for your friends today that would help brighten their day even just a little. This could be sending them a thank-you note or a message of encouragement and support. It could be planning something special for them, buying a small but thoughtful gift that they would appreciate, or laughing together about something funny.
Once again, if the people we hang out with brighten up our day, then it is also partly our responsibility to reciprocate that back and try to add a little more brightness, support, and humor into their lives too.
Being Vulnerable Together
Vulnerability is often what builds the closest friendships and relationships. It is the act of opening up about sides of ourselves that maybe we are not so secure or proud of, and fundamentally knowing that we can open up to someone about these things and that they are willing to listen to us and accept those parts of us is a fundamental aspect of why vulnerability is needed for building strong relationships.
Even though it may be hard or uncomfortable at times, being vulnerable with the people who love you back is a great way to establish trust and a sense of honest and open communication in a relationship, which further bridges the two people together.
So, the next time you are talking or seeing your friend or romantic partner, consider how you could, at appropriate times, be more vulnerable with them or express some things that you are currently struggling with or maybe parts of your past that you are working through.
Remember to start off easy, and if the other person is a true friend, then they will also stay to listen to your vulnerabilities and create a safe space for you to share these things together.
Adding In Novelty
Sometimes, we may feel that some of our relationships have grown stagnant or uninteresting over the years, and often, that is the case because we sense an expected routine in place, which makes the relationships seem less exciting and quite repetitive.
One great way to overcome this is to seek to do more novel and new things together. This could mean traveling somewhere new together, trying out a new restaurant, going on a hike together, or joining an artistic workshop together.
The activity you do together doesn't really matter as long as both of you enjoy it to an extent. By doing this, you can create valuable memories along the way and, not to mention, learn so much about each other too - overall helping to make your relationships stronger once again.
Express Your Genuine Feelings
One of the most beautiful things we can do in a relationship is to show and express our genuine feelings toward each other or simply express how grateful we are to have them as part of our lives.
Although this may be hard to do at times, the effects of this can be very powerful because, once again, you are establishing solid ground for open and honest communication while letting them see how much of a positive impact they may be having on your life.
Most importantly, with whatever you say to them, aim for it to be genuine and from the heart; otherwise, it doesn't really mean anything in the end. Be honest about the ways they improve or add value to your life, how they make you happy, and how they make you feel loved. Express to them how much this bond means to you.
You can do nothing wrong by expressing gratitude and kindness to them.
Being A Good Listener
One of the key skills that you can develop and work on in the course of a relationship is the ability to listen.
Now, many of us think that we are already good listeners, and, well, who doesn't know how to listen? But the truth is, many of us say that we listen to what our friends or partners are saying, but we may not be truly hearing or understanding what they say.
This is a crucial distinction because the best way to listen is not to push forward any of your own opinions and thoughts onto the other person but instead to let the other side speak, and for you to take in their words. One of the best ways of how to listen is to simply rephrase what the other person just told you, which shows them not only that you truly listened to what they had to say but also that you're not immediately pushing forward your own perspective on the matter.
Sometimes silence and really showing you understand is just what the other person might need, contrary to what you may think.
Celebrating Their Successes And Achievements
Whenever our friends or romantic partners achieve something they have been working on for a long time, or simply experience something good, such as an amazing opportunity or success, we should genuinely be happy for them and show how proud we are of them for getting this far.
You should never aim to undermine the achievements of those around you or feel envious when someone receives a great opportunity or experiences something amazing. Although sometimes envy or jealousy may creep up, it is important to note that if we are happy for them, then they too will be happy for us once we encounter success as well.
When we view life through the lens of scarcity and competition instead of abundance and cooperation, we begin to be envious of the achievements and successes of others. This not only worsens our relationship with the person in the long term but also undermines our own ability to attract amazing opportunities into our lives.
Therefore, always celebrate the hard-earned achievements of others, just as they will for you.
Establish Open And Honest Communication
It goes without saying that a relationship or friendship that is not built on the basis of honesty and openness will eventually experience cracks and rough times. Since you are not showing each other that crucial aspect of vulnerability mentioned above, it is harder for you to stay close to each other and be truly open.
Although it takes consistent effort and may, at times, be hard, being honest about how you feel, what you want, enjoy, or wish to change in any type of relationship is absolutely key not only for your well-being and the well-being of the other person but also for the whole future of any relationship.
With genuine and honest intentions come trust, loyalty, and a great sense of belonging.
Bring Laughter And Into Their Lives
One of the best aspects of socializing and spending time with those whom we love is the ability to share laughter and good times with each other, which can truly brighten up our day and change our whole mood and energy.
There are so many great ways to bring more laughter into each other's lives, whether it be by sending each other a funny text here and there, talking about a shared funny experience you have had, or even going to see a funny comedy or show. Find what you enjoy most because prioritizing fun and laughter in your life is a sure way of making it more enjoyable and worthwhile, all while strengthening your bond with each other too.
Be present When With Them
Last and definitely not least is the importance of being truly present with the other person when you are physically with them, or even when you are just having a conversation together through phone or text.
Take your time to focus on them and the conversation instead of being constantly distracted by your thoughts and environment, and you will see how much more enjoyment you will get out of the whole experience.
Being more present will also allow you to be a better listener in the moment, which in turn enables you to ask better questions and get to know the person even better - all in all, working towards strengthening that bond you have.
Remember to always appreciate and express your gratitude for the people you have in your life and those who truly love and support you. As a way of saying thank you, when being with them, choose to truly be present in the moment, and you will see how much your relationships improve.
KEY IDEAS
In todays blog post we discuss the importance of establishing deep and meaningful social connections in our lives and how we can best build such friendships.
SOURCES
Haupt, A. (2023, August 4). 7 ways to bring a dead friendship back to life. TIME . https://time.com/6301320/how-to-strengthen-friendships/
Pattee, E. (2019, November 24). How to have closer friendships (and why you need them). The New York Times . https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/smarter-living/how-to-have-closer-friendships.html
How to Be a Better Friend: 10 Ways to Up Your Friendship Game . (nd-b). https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-be-a-better-friend
Vincenty, S. (2023, January 27). 5 Ways to Strengthen a Friendship—Even when life is hectic. SELF . https://www.self.com/story/strengthen-friendship-tips
Why is friendship important in life? Here's why . (nd). https://www.betterup.com/blog/why-is-friendship-important
Murthy, V. (2022, November 8). Work and the loneliness epidemic. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2017/09/work-and-the-loneliness-epidemic
Social isolation and loneliness. (2024, January 24). https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/demographic-change-and-healthy-ageing/social-isolation-and-loneliness
Getting Back On Track After The Holidays
With the New Year's and Christmas holidays now behind us, it is time to turn our attention forward and work towards getting back on track after the festivities.
In today's post, we will explore exactly that, offering practical advice drawn from my own experiences to make this transition as seamless and enjoyable as possible.
If you are eager to resume your routine after some time off or seeking guidance or advice on this topic, then you have come to the right place.
I hope you gain something valuable from this 🥰
HOW TO GET BACK ON TRACK
Determine Your Intentions
The first step in getting back on track is to step back into alignment with yourself and determine in which direction you want to head. In this sense, you have to determine what your top priorities are going forward, for example, in both your personal and professional life and why you prioritize these things.
Additionally, consider which habits you want to build and that would benefit you most when it comes to getting back on track. Some habits, such as these, include building a consistent sleep schedule or prioritizing a varied and nutritious diet.
Make a note of these intentions and habits and keep it as a reference for yourself somewhere where you won't forget about it.
Setting Relevant Goals
Goals can be a very useful and more concrete way of visualizing and establishing your sense of direction and personal aspirations.
Here you want to determine what you want to achieve from today onwards and always have a clear “why” in your head, as this will keep you grounded throughout your whole journey towards your goals.
To ensure that you set your goals in the most useful ways, make sure to design your goals based on the SMART framework, which will make sure that your goals are well-established and that you can realistically achieve them in the time period you set to do them in. There is no good in setting highly unrealistic goals, as you will only be demotivated as a result.
I am not trying to say not to dream big, but I think it is much better to set a realistically sized goal or one which is slightly outside your comfort zone so that you make sure you can still achieve it and that it will give you an adequate boost of confidence and motivation to keep going.
Establishing Functional Routines
Although for some people routines may carry a negative connotation, routines which we set ourselves in our personal or professional lives can be a great way to support our long-term success and any habits which we want to keep up with.
In the mornings, for example, routines can be a great way to mentally prepare ourselves for the day ahead while in the evenings, they can be very useful for calming us down and helping us to unwind after a long day.
What's most important is that you design and pursue a routine that not only works and supports your lifestyle but that you also enjoy doing. If you don't enjoy something, it will make it that much harder to follow through with something in the long term.
It’s also important to mention that just because one routine works for someone, it does not mean it works for everyone else. Everyone is different, with different preferences and styles of working best, which is why it is key to design this routine based on your own lifestyle and intentions.
Lastly, contrary to what is commonly portrayed on the internet or on social media, these routines do not have to be extremely long, complicated, or painstakingly unenjoyable. The main point of a routine is to help you build consistency with something - what that activity is and how you choose to promote being consistent at that activity is up to you. Have fun with it :)
Curating Your Environment
If we want to best ensure that we successfully follow through on the goals, intentions, and routines which we previously established, our environment plays a huge role in making these aspirations as effortless and accessible as possible.
For example, if one of your goals after returning back from a long holiday is to return to a balanced and healthy diet, then it will likely not be of much use to keep loads of unhealthy and processed snacks or drinks at home.
Similarly, if one of the intentions which you set yourself is to be able to productively focus for longer periods of time, it makes sense to turn off or put away any potential sources of distractions whether that be in your digital or physical space.
The idea is to align and design your environment - your living and working space - in a way which supports your goals and intentions. This is a key step as it makes following through with your commitments as frictionless as possible.
Sticking To A Schedule
One of the key reasons for scheduling your activities or your personal commitments into a weekly or monthly schedule is that it promotes consistency. Consistency is one of the most underestimated yet high-yielding skills anyone can develop over time, and it allows you to consistently work, build, or improve on something ultimately helping you to get closer to that goal or achievement that you are striving for.
Based on the goals, habits, and routines which you want to implement into your lifestyle, figure out which of these activities is best done on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis and try to enter them into a calendar or some sort of task tracking software.
If you make these repetitions automatic it once again makes the process of sticking through your commitments that much more likely since you also won't forget about what you promised to yourself.
Creating Accountability
Depending on your current level of discipline, you may find that sticking to a set routine or schedule constantly can be quite challenging and effort-intensive, especially when the unpredictability of life comes our way.
One way to make this process of building consistency of a habit or ritual is to do these activities with someone else or share your personal goals and commitments with other close people who support you so that they can every so often check up on your progress and keep you on track.
Accountability is the foundation of doing anything consistently.
That is not to say that accountability only comes in the form of doing something with someone else, but can also be done through setting reminders on your phone or other devices to remind you of your intentions and routines that you are gradually building.
Realize What Is Within Your Circle Of Control
You have to acknowledge that no matter how clear or well-established your intentions are, that sometimes unpredictable aspects of life will come in our way, usually in the times we least expect it. This is a normal part of life and it is important to be able to not only be aware of this phenomenon but to also take it into account for when we are planning our lives.
There will always be some aspects of our life which we can control and others which are completely out of our circle of control.
If you find that something gets in the way of you achieving your plans, identify whether this is a factor that you have control over and if so, how can you prevent it from derailing you in the future. If it's something you can't control, then realize that the best way to go about this is to accept it for what it is since you can't really change anything about it and realize that everyone has to make peace with such factors.
Staying Flexible
Relating to the previous point, when we do find that something derails us off of our track - whether it is something unpredictable that happens in our daily environment or when we feel our personal willpower or discipline starting to wane - we need to be flexible and adaptable to get our feet back on track.
We have to realize that whether and how we get ourselves back on the right course towards our goals is much more important than the number of times we get derailed. In the end, the people who are most resilient and most adaptable to unpredictable circumstances are also the ones who are much more likely to reach and fulfill their aspirations.
It all takes practice and gradual daily improvements where it's key to know that one setback or wrong step won't mess up your entire journey.
Reward And Repeat
Once you have a routine established that works for you and you are successfully staying consistent, make sure to also every once in a while reward yourself to stay motivated and encourage yourself to keep going.
All of this consistency is at the end of the day very similar to the process of habit building for which we need a reason to keep doing or repeating something.
Additionally, the motivation to continue doing something does not necessarily only have to come from rewards per se, but is actually commonly the result of doing or starting to do something in the first place. Contrary to common belief, motivation is the result of action, instead of motivation being a prerequisite to starting or doing something.
Make sure that this reward or incentive for continuing to do something is something that you actually enjoy and get pleasure out of. It doesn't only have to be limited to treating yourself to a physical gift or some other material good (however if that is what you like best then go for it), but it can also be extended to treating yourself to an experience for yourself or with your friends, or enjoying some good food or going for a weekend/day trip to somewhere.
Life is also in large part about having fun and enjoying the process, so why not make the process of getting to your goals as enjoyable as possible?
Be Kind To Yourself
Lastly, keep in mind that occasionally everyone makes mistakes, makes a wrong decision, or does something to a lesser standard than what we promised to ourselves.
In such situations, there is little point in beating yourself up over it since that will just completely discourage you from ever getting back on track but instead first realize that setbacks like these happen to everyone and secondly, that the way you react or get back up from setbacks is within your control.
You can't always choose how many times you fall down but you can always choose how many times you choose to get back up. Use that to your advantage.
We are all only human at the end of the day giving each day our best effort, so make sure to be kind to yourself on this journey and to take care of yourself and those who support you.
Making 2024 Your Best Year Yet
And just like that, another year has come to pass. Another year full of memories, changes, and moments of growth. I am sure all of us have had some memorable highlights in the past year but maybe also some things which we weren't quite able to complete or fully finish through.
The new year is a chance to work on exactly those things which still await us, and we still want to achieve, all while aiming for new heights, new personal goals, and continuing our journey of personal exploration and development.
Happy new year, everyone! 😊
THE PROCESS OF GOAL SETTING
Reflect on the past year: By looking back on the year that has passed, you allow yourself to evaluate your personal journey in terms of how you have changed as a person, in what ways you have grown or improved, and in what ways you still want to change and improve.
Identify the areas you want to mprove in: Based on the previous step, you can now start thinking about what specific changes you would like to make. How could you be happier? More satisfied? More fulfilled? What is missing from your current life? How can you be of more service to other people? How can you add more meaning to your life?
Identify your why: For each of the changes that you want to make, you want to identify why you want to make those changes in the first place. Why do they matter to you? Why do you want to pursue them in the first place? By establishing your interests and why behind these changes, they can act as a source of motivation to keep powering you through.
Establish categories: Next, try your best to categorize each of these changes under an appropriate category, which will make later on the setting of goals much easier and provides a more compartmentalized way to see and organize your goals.
Set SMART goals: This is the step where you translate the changes that you want to make for the next year into proper goals. Based on the SMART outline, each goal has to be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Make sure that each goal is defined specifically enough, that you can measure your progress, that you can achieve it in the timeframe that you set to achieve it, and that it is relevant to your own aspirations and wishes.
Break down larger goals into smaller ones: You may find that some of your goals are larger and more complex/demanding than others, which is why it is useful to break down those larger goals into smaller sub-goals or steps that are easier to achieve. In this way, achieving the larger goals seems much more achievable.
Keep the goals in a visible place: After having written down your goals, it is best to print them out or display them in a visible place so that they will serve as a reminder for the promises you have made to yourself and the new person that you want to become.
Accountability: Before the new year starts rolling around, you also want to consider how you will stay accountable with your goals, whether that be by setting consistent reminders, taking on common goals with a friend, or joining an online group of people with whom you regularly check in.
One goal at a time: We can often find that we have many changes and goals that we want to make; however, it is most realistic to tackle each goal one by one or one category of goals at a time.
Set a reward: Once you achieve or complete a given goal of yours, give yourself some sort of reward since it is beneficial to celebrate each small win in life. By rewarding yourself, you are also in a way acknowledging that you are capable of achieving the goals you set out to achieve, which boosts your self-esteem and can act as further motivation.
24 QUESTIONS TO POWER YOUR 2024
What are the 3-5 new habits you aim to establish this year, and how do you plan to incorporate them into your lifestyle?
Which habits and routines do you intend to bring into the new year?
What habits do you hope to let go of in the coming year?
What are the five primary goals you want to set for your professional/work life?
What are the five main goals you want to establish for your personal life?
How will you stay motivated and accountable to ensure you follow through on your goals?
How do you plan to manage and overcome potential setbacks in the upcoming year?
Which relationships do you aim to strengthen, and are there any you wish to end this year?
How can you increase activities that energize you and decrease those that drain your energy?
What new skills or knowledge do you aspire to acquire?
Which books are on your reading list for the year?
Are there specific places you want to visit or travel to in the upcoming year?
How will you prioritize self-care in the following year?
What steps will you take to minimize time-wasting activities?
How can you optimize your work and enhance the efficiency and effectiveness of your time usage?
What strategies will you employ to ensure you have fun throughout the year?
What mindsets do you want to embrace in 2023, and which ones do you want to leave behind?
In what ways do you hope to grow as an individual, and what aspects of your current self do you want to improve?
Envision where you see yourself at the end of the year: What activities are you engaged in, what have you achieved, who are the significant people in your life, and where are you on your personal journey? What challenges have you overcome?
How do you aspire to feel by the end of 2024?
What kind of person do you aim to become by the end of 2024, and how do you wish to experience life?
What excites you or what are you looking forward to in 2024?
If you had to sum up your ideal 2024 in three words, what would they be?
What do you want to remember the year 2024 for?
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
With this, I want to wish anyone reading this fore mostly a happy new year. I want the best for each one of you, for you to truly start living authentically for yourselves, to start placing yourself first and to go after all of those amazing things you want to achieve. You are not alone and you got this. Do this for you because you deserve it and you are worth it.
Thank you for everyone who read my work this year, it genuinely means a lot to me. I will try my best to continue doing so in the new year.
See you all in 2024 😊
Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself
We all aspire to become better versions of ourselves than we were yesterday, living in alignment with our values and intentions. Striving for personal growth and progress can sometimes feel more overwhelming and challenging than necessary, which is why I've written a concise guide that simplifies the process of continuous self-improvement.
I hope that today's post inspires you to find practical ways to enhance yourself as an individual, making this journey as accessible and actionable as possible because we all aim to evolve into better versions of ourselves.
I hope you find this post enjoyable and valuable.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF?
Becoming the best version of yourself is a highly individualized journey that encompasses various aspects of personal growth, ultimately requiring you to live authentically in alignment with what resonates with you at your core, which includes honoring your values, preferences, and boundaries, without compromising your identity for the sake of others; the key is to prioritize activities and processes that empower you and nurture your well-being.
Your best self is a unique creation, tailored to your aspirations, and not necessarily mirroring the expectations of those around you; the objective is to continually refine your own vision of what brings out your true potential and keeps you on the path of authenticity and self-improvement.
Remember that your perception of your best self can evolve over time; it's not a static state but signifies ongoing personal growth and development.
To achieve your best self, it's vital to take charge of the aspects of your life that are within your control; while we can't control every facet of our existence, focusing on enhancing the areas that are manageable sets you on the road to success.
Finally, acknowledge that the path to self-improvement is not always smooth; life is inherently imperfect, and we can't have total control over every circumstance. However, it's crucial to remain committed to your personal growth journey, even in the face of challenges, and give your best effort, knowing that not everything will always go as planned.
HOW TO BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOU
Prioritize Your Health
Sleep: Sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, allowing the body to rest, repair, and consolidate memories while promoting physical and mental health.
Movement: Exercise is crucial for maintaining physical health and overall well-being, improving cardiovascular fitness, building and maintaining muscle strength, managing weight, and enhancing mental and emotional health.
Nutrition: Nutrition is vital for sustaining health and providing essential nutrients for energy, growth, maintenance, and disease prevention.
Stress management: Stress management is necessary for maintaining mental and physical well-being by reducing the negative impact of chronic stress on the body, promoting emotional resilience, and improving overall quality of life.
Social well-being: Having a social circle is important for emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging, contributing to mental and emotional well-being and providing a valuable network in times of need.
Establish The Fundamentals
Develop discipline: Having discipline and self-management is important for achieving personal and professional goals, maintaining consistency, and making responsible choices leading to long-term success and well-being.
Define your core values: Defining your core values is important as it provides a clear and meaningful framework for decision-making, goal setting, and living a life that aligns with your authentic self.
Practice having a growth mindset: Having a growth mindset is crucial as it fosters a belief in the ability to learn, adapt, and improve, leading to increased resilience, motivation, and personal development.
Prioritize what matters to you: Prioritizing what matters to you is essential because it allows you to focus your time, energy, and resources on your most meaningful goals and values, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
Let go of limiting beliefs: Letting go of limiting beliefs is important because it empowers personal growth, fosters a positive self-image, and opens the door to new opportunities and achievements.
Be compassionate towards yourself: Being compassionate towards yourself is important for maintaining mental and emotional well-being, reducing self-criticism and stress, and promoting self-acceptance and resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Visualize your future self: Visualizing your future self is important as it provides motivation, clarity, and a sense of direction to work toward your desired goals and aspirations.
Start Prioritizing Your Own Personal Growth
Start showing up for yourself: You are responsible for your progress and actions, so you must make the effort to show up for yourself because no one else can be you.
Create empowering rituals: Rituals and routines that work for you can be incredibly empowering and effective, helping you get into the right mindset, set intentions, and carry out tasks with minimal hesitation or procrastination.
Work on your strengths: Identifying and working on your strengths allows intentional self-improvement, helping you become better at what you already excel at or venture into learning new skills and knowledge.
Embrace failures and mistakes: Embracing failures and mistakes is important for personal growth, learning, and resilience, as they provide valuable lessons and opportunities for improvement.
Challenge yourself every day: Challenging yourself daily is important for personal growth and skill development, fostering adaptability and a sense of achievement.
Set and go after your goals: Setting your goals and guiding the direction of your life empowers you to feel in control of where you are headed and how you get there.
Celebrate small victories: Focusing on celebrating small meaningful victories boosts motivation and proves you are headed in the right direction.
Master Time Management And Productivity
Just get to doing it: Simply put, don't delay things you want to do because getting something done is about starting and finishing it through.
Remove distractions: Controlling and limiting distractions is essential for focus and productivity, especially when trying to complete tasks.
Time yourself during tasks: Deciding in advance how long to complete a task forces you to finish it within that time period and reduces procrastination.
Practice calendar blocking: Visualizing your weeks or days and ensuring you can feasibly complete tasks scheduled for a given day or week is crucial for productivity.
Stop looking for shortcuts: Acknowledge that self-improvement takes continuous effort, patience, and hard work, so focus on enjoying the process of becoming the best version of yourself as much as possible.
Take Care Of Your Personal Relationships
Accept help from others: Accepting help promotes collaboration, strengthens relationships, and enables personal and collective progress.
Keep in touch with people who matter most to you: Maintaining strong connections, fostering emotional support, and nurturing a sense of belonging and well-being are crucial.
Help other people become the best version of themselves: Supporting each other's self-improvement and personal growth can be a mutually beneficial and rewarding process.
Give back to people and society: Giving back to society contributes to community well-being, addresses social needs, and fosters a sense of purpose and interconnectedness.
FINDING MOTIVATION
Becoming the best version of yourself demands daily effort and a continuous drive for self-improvement, which may initially seem daunting due to the requirement for discipline and consistency. Nevertheless, the rewards and results are undoubtedly worth the journey.
To enhance your chances of success, it's essential to uncover the underlying reasons for making these life changes and, importantly, to find ways to make the process of self-improvement as enjoyable as possible. This ensures not only a more enjoyable journey but also increases the likelihood of sticking with it and achieving the desired results. Maintaining discipline and consistency hinges on understanding your motivations and setting rewards and milestones along the way.
When it comes to motivation, we can categorize it into two common types:
Intrinsic motivation: This type of motivation arises from within yourself and is driven by your own beliefs, values, and priorities. An example is your desire to grow and improve as an individual simply because you find the process personally fulfilling or enjoy the challenges it presents.
Extrinsic motivation: In contrast, this motivation is triggered by external factors, which can be positive or negative. Examples of positive reinforcement include receiving rewards, verbal praise, good grades, or positive results. Extrinsic motivation can also be driven by the desire to avoid negative consequences, such as punishment or criticism.
Balancing both types of motivation is ideal to ensure a well-rounded and sustainable drive for self-improvement.
Additionally it is important to note, that often we incorrectly think that we need a boost of inspiration or motivation to get us to do something where actually just starting something, will itself give us the motivation to continue going. Therefore motivation is actually sourced from action itself instead of having to first wait for motivation to do something.
KEY IDEAS
If you want to continuously become a better version of yourself, then you have come to the right place. In todays blog post we are discussion exactly that; everything it takes for you to become that leveled up version of yourself which you desire and strive for.
REFERENCES
Perry, E. (2022, July 8). 10 ways to become your best self. Better Up. https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-be-the-best-version-of-yourself
Mazaika, K. (2016, September 6). How To Be the Best Version of Yourself. Time. https://time.com/4479890/best-version-of-yourself/
Hayes II, J. (2023, March 8). How to Be the Best Version of You And Live Your Best Life. Life Hack. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/starting-today-stop-these-6-things-become-the-best-version-yourself.html
Cook, J. (2020, October 26). 6 Powerful Ways To Be A Better Version Of Yourself. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jodiecook/2020/10/26/6-powerful-ways-to-be-a-better-version-of-yourself/?sh=283098836339
How To Work More Effectively & Efficiently
We would all like to know how to work more effectively and ultimately be better at using our time well because time is a resource which is finite for all of us. With so many productivity guides out there stating what not to do and what to do when it comes to maximizing your work output, I wanted to instead focus on the difference between working effectively and working efficiently.
Although these terms are used almost interchangeably, there are differences we will uncover today which make these two concepts worth differentiating and looking into, because each can uniquely impact your productive capacities.
If learning how to increases your output not only in terms of time but also in terms of getting the right tasks done sounds interesting to you, then continue on reading to find out.
I hope you find todays topic interesting and ultimately useful for your own applications for whatever you want to get done or to just become better at managing your time.
EFFECTIVE VS EFFICIENT
We have to first understand that our productivity through the day or during the course of a week can heavily fluctuate, since it is influenced by factors such as our sleep, ability to stay focused, how organized we are as well as other factors. Some days we will be more productive and energetically focused than others and that is normal. The key is to design and adapt your day around how energized and productive you feel for that day. For example, if you had a bad night of sleep, there is not much point in cramming a bunch of heavy energy consuming work for the whole day since your body is less well equipped to deal with it in the moment, so instead on days like this choose easier tasks to do.
Adapt your work schedule and obligations around your mental and energy capacities and most importantly don't be so hard on yourself for being human and having some days where you just cant seem to focus as well or that you feel uninspired or demotivated. It happens to all of us.
But the good news is that those days and times will pass and by taking care of ourselves first and our bodies needs, we can re-equip ourselves to have another meaningful and productive day, in whatever form that is for us.
Now what we have established that, lets look into the difference between working effectively and working efficiently:
Effective working:
It is about producing the wanted results or getting to the right accurate result, essentially meaning that effectiveness concerns the success of our output.
in a work scenario, this links to the quality of our work and also making sure to have a good grasp of task prioritization by getting the right things done.
Efficient working:
Efficiency is about producing the desired results but without wasting any or much resources such as materials, time or energy.
In a work setting, increasing efficiency is often linked with increasing the speed at which you get tasks done but in other cases it can also mean knowing how to manage your energy levels while still getting the right things done.
HOW TO WORK MORE EFFECTIVELY
Prioritizing your to do list (Using the Eisenhower Matrix method)
Setting a realistic number of tasks you want to get done today (Shortening your to do list)
Tackling your most important and hardest tasks first
Planning tomorrow the night before
Having a block of “me time” without distractions, meeting, calls etc
Communicating well with coworkers, group members or family members
Breaking down large tasks into more manageable sub tasks
Being careful when it comes to multitasking
Measuring your progress to keep you motivates
Take care of the basics: Reducing stress/ anxiety, sleeping well and eat enough (See blog post here)
Take regular breaks to rest and reenergize
Find your biological prime time (At what part of the day do you work best)
Getting better at saying no and respecting your time and energy boundaries
HOW TO WORK MORE EFFICIENTLY
Time blocking: Enter your most high priority tasks into a schedule
Stay organized (Digitally and physically)
Setting and following routines that work for you
Going into work with the right attitude
Don't wait for motivation or inspiration to start since these things are a result of working
Reduce the number of decisions you have to make in a day - you can only make so many in a day
Using idle bits of time (slots of 5-15 minutes) to knock out short tasks
Make the work you do as fun and engaging as possible
Making it as easy as possible to get started on a task
Avoiding distractions and stay focused (See blog post here)
Scheduling periods of deep work
CHECK OUT MY OTHER PRODUCTIVITY RELATED POSTS:
🧠 KEY IDEAS
In this blog post we have discussed the ins and outs of working effectively VS working efficiently and why it is important to strike a balance of both to optimize our productive output.
✏️ REFERENCES
Indeed Editorial Team. (n.d.). How To Work Effectively: What It Means and What To Do. Indeed. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/work-effectively
Bonnie, E. (2023). How to work effectively: 13 simple Strategies to Work Smarter. Blog Wrike. https://www.wrike.com/blog/how-to-work-effectively-13-strategies/
10 best strategies on how to improve work efficiency | TonyRobbins. (2023, August 1). tonyrobbins.com. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/business/improve-work-efficiency/
Overcoming Your Fear Of Failure
Being afraid of failure also known as Atychiphobia can be a very debilitating feeling and condition which can impacts various aspects of our well being as well as our own accomplishments and rate of personal growth.
I am interested in exploring this notion today because I think that much of society is nowadays concerned with some sort of ideal “perfect” life which tells us how to live and work properly and does not leave much room for making healthy mistakes (being “imperfect”) and learning from them.
In this way, being afraid of failure and striving for a perfectionistic way of living slows down our development as a person because we are so concerned and preoccupied with how others perceive us that we forget who we really are, what we enjoy doing and most worryingly we become afraid of making mistakes, effectively ceasing growth as an individual.
In this blog post, my aim is to explore the causes of having an irrational fear of failure, learning how to spot it in our life as well as what are the wellbeing related effects of it and how we can best overcome it so we can return back to our best selves.
I hope you enjoy ☀️
CAUSES
Critical upbringing: If during your childhood, your parents or care givers were very critical and unsupportive of what you did or wanted to do, this can later on translate into having a fear of failure since you could never as a child live up to their expectations.
Family history: Phobias, anxiety and depression can increase the likeness of developing a fear of failure later on.
Low self esteem: People which start out with a lower self esteem are much more likely to experience having a fear of failure.
Traumatic experiences: If in your upbringing or past you have experienced abuse or severe punishments when you have done something wrong and failed at something, then this makes you much more likely to be afraid of making any further mistakes down the line because of the repercussions linked to failing at something
Definition of failure: What we define as failure and success if often based on our own expectations or the expectations of others, where if these expectations are too high you may find it very hard to live up to them and a result feel that the risks off trying something new are too high so you do not end up doing anything at all.
Genetics: Being prone to anxiety has been shown to be genetically linked which further increases the chances that you develop Atychiphobia.
Perfectionism: In perfectionism, people set themselves very high expectations and standards to live by where by they believe that if they make mistakes they will be seen as not perfect causing them to fear making mistakes. Alternatively, perfectionists may have the fear of not reaching their own high standards and as a result also experience a fear of failure.
HOW IT SHOWS ITSELF
Some of the most common signs of being afraid of failing at something include:
Being frequently angry or irritable
Caring a lot about how other perceive you
Being pessimistic about life
Being prone to procrastination if something seems challenging
Finding it hard to accept constructive criticism
Being worried that you will disappoint others if you fail
Thinking that your own imperfections and minor let downs will make people think differently of you
Telling others that you will probably find anyways in order to keep the expectations of others low
Underestimating your own abilities so that you avoid feeling let down by yourself
Placing your self worth based on what others think of you
ITS EFFECTS
When having a strong fear of failure, the following consequences are most common:
Taking part in self sabotaging behaviors which further impair your progress
Feeling shame, inadequacy or disappointment
Procrastination
Having low motivation
Experiencing a decrease in self esteem
HOW TO OVERCOME IT
Below you can find a couple of pieces of advice which can help you with overcoming a fear of failure:
Identify what is causing it
Break down large ambitious goals into small and actionable steps
Developing a growth mindset
Reaffirming to yourself that you are enough
Doing or starting the project or idea you have been putting of
Having a strong support system of friends or family which you can fall back on
Be mindful of your alcohol and caffeine consumption to not make you stress or anxiety or worse
Get the basic health elements in check: Good sleep, a balanced diet and taking part in some daily exercise
Become aware of the things you can control within your life and what is our of your control
Planning ahead and visualizing obstacles ahead of time
Redefining your idea of failure
Asking yourself what is the worst possible outcome that can come out of doing this?
🧠 KEY IDEAS
In this blog post we have discussed the subject of fear of failure, where we first explored what causes it, how it can be observed, the effects of fear of failure and lastly, how to overcome it in order to become your best self.
✏️ REFERENCES
Castrillon, C. (2022, October 16). How To Cope With The Fear Of Failure. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2022/10/16/how-to-cope-with-the-fear-of-failure/
Brooks, A. C. (2022, April 7). How to Overcome a Fear of Failure. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/02/how-overcome-fear-failure/618130/
Professional, C. C. M. (n.d.). Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure). Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failure#:~:text=What is atychiphobia%3F-,Atychiphobia is an intense fear of failure.,an exam or job interview.
MSEd, K. C. (2023). How to Deal With the Fear of Failure. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-failure-5176202
How To Be A Better Communicator
I think that being a good communicator and knowing how to communicate well is one of the best skills you can learn. This is because communication occurs in so many different occasions and aspects of our life, everything from how we communicate with our family, partners, friends, work colleagues, bosses and even ourselves.
Communication is also a relatively hard skill because it requires input from both sides of the conversation, however by making sure that you are putting your best foot forward when starting and carrying our a conversation you can also make sure that you get the most out of that conversation no matter how involved the other person is.
So are you interested in how to be an effective and concise communicator?
Then read on 😊 🗣️
WHY IS GOOD COMMUNICATION IMPORTANT?
Simply put, here is a list of reasons for what communication is useful for:
Reducing the number of misunderstanding or potential conflicts between people
Less time and energy is lost because less of those misunderstanding issues occur
You feel more understood and values as an individual
Being a better team worker and collaborator
Becoming better at empathizing and understanding people
Building more trust and respect with new people
Creating an environment in which everyone feels they can contribute with their ideas (makes people feel heard)
Coordinating of people in a successful way
ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION
When it comes to communicating well, there are certain skills which I think come in very useful:
Having empathy: Empathy encourages you to better understand the other individual and their stance, which allows you to relate to their feelings more and in turn also listen to them more clearly.
Good listening skills: This is almost a no brainer one however listening to someone and truly listening to someone are two different things. Be a better listener by giving the other person time to talk and do not interrupt them with your own opinions, perspective or own thoughts. Listening means being the one who listens, not the one who talks all the time.
Using non verbal communication: Non verbal communication such as hand gestures, body movements and facial expression can greatly enhance the meaning of what you are tying to say and also encourages people to listen more since they feel like you are genuinely involved in a meaningful conversation with them.
Teamwork: In many scenarios in life we are tasked with showing and using our teamwork abilities where teamwork itself requires good communication skills in order to coordinate everyone. But at the same time collaborating with more people in your social circle also enhances your ability to communicate effectively since you may be asked to arrange or present something to someone as a group.
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Preparing a head of time: When we briefly take some time in advance to go through what we will say to someone or more importantly how we will communicate this, this often results in a better and clear conversation down the line which results in less potential miss communications or conflicts. This is especially useful for harder and less pleasant conversations we sometimes have to have with people.
Being a good listener: When it comes to being a good listener, make sure that you are really there in the present moment when the person is telling you something and really make sure to listen and try to grasp what they are telling you. Give them space and time to finish saying what they have to say and then offer a suitable reply, but don't try to force too much of your opinion or perspective onto them because sometimes in more difficult situations, the other person may not be looking for you to help them but simply just someone who would listen to them.
Being mindful of how you respond: The way in which you respond matters greatly to how the other person will receive and interpret your message so be mindful of the tone of your voice, pace of speech, finding the right time to respond (not interrupting the person excessively) and taking a couple of seconds to come up with an appropriate response to the situation.
Gaining self awareness: Self awareness in this context has to do with being aware of how we talk and behave within conversations specifically how we say things, how we behave as listeners and how we will make sure both people get their point across effectively. Be mindful of those things when talking.
Practicing public speaking: Speaking to groups of people you don't know or even to familiar groups such as a friend group, is also a good way to practice your speaking abilities because you have to learn how to both communicate your message yet also keep it clear and concise since there is more people listening so you want to avoid any misunderstandings and really make your point understandable and memorable.
Developing an appropriate filter: Often times, depending on the type of conversation we are having, we have to develop certain “filters” which determine what we say or don't say in certain situations in order to make the conversation more appropriate to the setting. So before or during a conversation, think about what would be useful to say in this case or what you could omit to avoid any complications down the line.
Using non verbal communication: Non verbal communication such as body language, hand gestures, facial expressions or eye contact are just as important as the verbal messages we convey to people in our life. These non verbal means of communication further help carry our message across and also tells the other person that we are actively engaged in a conversation with them and not make them feel like their times is being wasted.
Asking for direct feedback: Sometimes asking for feedback on your communications skills for a friend, family members, colleague or even boss/ manager can also be a valuable use of our time since you get to hear a different perspective and perhaps they will mention things that you have not even thought about. Perhaps you will also find that while you were communicating in a certain way that you thought was appropriate, the other person may think otherwise and this is time for you to analyze wether this is true and if it is, how you can best alter your communication way to not get into arguments later on.
Keeping an open mind: Sometimes as listeners we are tempted to always push forward our own opinion or thoughts on a topic, where we might hear one thing and the same second we are forming a counter argument to explain why we are right and why the other person is wrong. This I think is not the correct approach because it is more of a defense strategy than a means of communication so the trick is to really just keep an open mind when it comes to listening to the ideas and thoughts of others.
Getting in tune with your own emotions: It is unpleasant if unwanted emotions come up in the wrong context so make sure to first learn to manage and process your own emotions before starting up a conversation again and in this way, beginning with a level emotional playing field.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
In this blog post we have discussed the topic of how to be better and more effective at communicating which we have done by first covering why good communication is useful, which skills are needed for good communication and lastly what are some genuine ways of improving your communication skills.
✏️ SOURCES
MasterClass. (2020, November 8). Effective Communication: 6 Ways to Improve Communication Skills - 2023 - MasterClass. https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-improve-your-communication-skills
Sharp Emerson, M. (2021, August 30). Eight Things You Can Do To Improve Your Communication Skills - Professional Development | Harvard DCE. Professional Development | Harvard DCE. https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/eight-things-you-can-do-to-improve-your-communication-skills/
How To Make The Most Out Of Your Everyday
Often times we are simplify bombarded with so much information in terms of what we should do, shouldn't do and how we should aim to overall live our lives. While all of this information is valuable and can be applied to our lives, I wanted to make this process more simple and summarize all the main ways in which you can ensure that you make the most out of your every day. When individual successful days accumulate, it results in successful weeks and months and an overall meaningful and achievement full year.
If you want to master your every day, you have come to the right place 😊
TIPS FOR MAKING THE BEST USE OF YOUR DAY
PERSONAL CONSIDERATIONS
Prioritizing good quality sleep the night before: Ensuring a solid 7-9 hours of sleep every night. Struggling with sleeping well? If you want to learn more about this topic, you can do so here and here.
Don't begin your mornings with rushing: Create time for yourself in the morning so that you can properly get ready for the day in what ever form that may be. Be kind to yourself. Also do not begin your mornings with going straight to your phone or listening to emotionally charged news; These things should come later on in the day.
Spending time with people you love: This can be a good friend, colleague, family member or a significant other; Social connection is important for general wellbeing.
Finding ways of connecting with nature during the day: Spending your breaks outside, going for an outdoor walk, run, hike or visiting a botanical garden. I recently wrote a blog post about the importance of spending time in nature and you can find it here.
Finding moments to express your appreciation and gratitude for anything that comes: This can be done by explicitly saying it to someone in person or over phone or simply writing it down somewhere. Being able to forgive yourself and other people you hold grudges against.
Be mindful of your media consumption: Avoid mindless time sapping activities such as endless social media scrolling. Focus on creating more yourself instead of just consuming all the time. When you do consume media, be mindful of what you consume, how often and how it is impacting your wellbeing. Read more about how to manage your relationship with social media here.
Implementing daily movement and exercise: This is key for keeping your body and mind in a fit and functional state that enable you to feel energized, focused and strong throughout the day. I have written before about the great benefits of exercise here.
Taking valuable breaks during the day: This is for resting and recharging your body and mind for everything they enable you to do. Supply them with replenishing foods, water and down time.
Learning to disconnect from technology when needed: This is key in such a highly connected environment as the one we currently live in. Disconnecting is needed to properly evaluate your general well being, reflecting over situations or decisions or just generally being able to take a restful break.
Living more in the present moment: Practices such as meditation and expressing of gratitude have been shown to improve the quality of our presence of the present moment. This also means to focus on doing one thing at a time instead of multitasking with 5. By truly being in the present, you will feel so much more fulfilled and genuinely alive in the moment while making more memorable memories.
Challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone: This is something than can be done every day in small ways or in more significant amounts during a week or month. Exposing ourselves to these uncomfortable emotions is key for the development of personal resilience and reaffirming of our abilities and self esteem. You wont regret it.
Reenforcing a positive mindset throughout the day: Up keeping a positive mindset is beneficial not just for your own wellbeing throughout the day but also helps to inspire and uplift other people around you. By having a more optimistic outlook, you are attracting more opportunities and dealing with challenges in a more proactive way
Doing something which excites you: A hobby, your job, past time occupation, an idea you have wanted to pursue for a while etc.
WORK RELATED CONSIDERATIONS
Setting 3 daily tasks which you will accomplish during the day: Accomplishing 3 things fully each day is a lot better than trying to fit in 20 different things and maybe getting one parts of different tasks done. Make sure these tasks are aligned with your long term goals and vision of where you see yourself.
Start with doing the hardest thing first: Get out the most daunting or unpleasant tasks first and you will walk around with lighter shoulders afterwards.
Improving on a skill or learning something new: This can be done though reading an article or book, watching an interesting video, practicing a skill, listening to a podcast or audiobook, attending a workshop etc.
Managing distractions and interruptions ahead of time: This is crucial if you want to be able to stay focused for considerable periods of time. This also goes to say to stop checking emails as they come in.
Spending times of the day in moments of deep focus: This does not just help with making considerable progress towards your goals and accomplishments but is also a highly prized ability - staying focused - in todays society, giving you a advantage over most people around you.
Creating and sticking to a routine which works for you: We often hear that well established routines are upon which all successes are founded upon, which is true because success often times means doing something over and over again (staying consistent) while making small improvements each time
Determining in advance how long something should approximately take you: This is the basic principle of Parkinson's law which explains that how long a task will take you in reality is based on how much time you give for its completion. The more time you give, the more time it will actually end up taking.
Staying organized in a way that is functional to you: I understand that people work best in different enviments of organization but having some guideline of where to store things, how to label and be able to locate things within your environment is I think essential for anyone and can be applied with so many different items and areas of life
Planning out your day the night before: This includes setting the 3 things you will get done, planning in your breaks, times for meals, social events and other things which make you excited during the day. If a task or event is slotted into your calendar with a specific time and set duration, it will get done.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
Throughout this blog we discussed several different ways of how to make the best use of your day, when it comes to both personal and work related consideration, in order to make your day meaningful and productive.
✏️ REFERENCES
Anderson, A. R. (2014, March 28). 10 Ways To Make The Most Of Every Day. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/amyanderson/2014/03/28/10-ways-to-make-the-most-of-every-day/
Matthews, B. K. (2006). How to Get 7 More Hours in Your Day. Oprah.com. https://www.oprah.com/home/how-to-get-7-more-hours-in-your-day/all
Hall, S. (2014). 17 Ways to Make the Most of Every Day. Lifehack. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/17-ways-make-the-most-every-day.html
Kane, S. (2017, March 30). My 11 Tips on How to Make the Most of Each Day. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/my-11-tips-on-how-to-make-the-most-of-each-day#4
20 Productivity Tips to Get More Out of Your Day - Fireworx Digital. (2017, February 15). Fireworx Digital. https://fireworxdigital.com/20-productivity-tips-more-out-of-your-day/
Developing Core Life Skills
In life we are often asked to use, implement and exhibit many different types of skills and abilities, where I thought that it would be useful to compose a list of the most useful and versatile skills which anyone can learn and benefit from implementing into their life.
These skills are designed to be applicable and supportive to many aspects of your daily life and implementing these one by one is an assured way to get step by step closer to your idea of success. These skills do not only improve you as an individual, but also improve the effectiveness of your work abilities and quality of your relationships.
Happy reading :)
10 ESSENTIAL LIFE SKILLS
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:
Here “communication” here refers to both verbal and non verbal means of expressing yourself and your thoughts where communication as a skills allows for many other advantages:
Improved interpersonal relationships by showing trust and authenticity (Both private and work related relationships)
Improved time management by vocalizing your boundaries
Building more cohesive family connections
Improved organization within your personal life
Getting better at asking for help when you need it
Supporting a healthy self esteem
PROBLEM SOLVING ABILITIES
In life, there will always be problems and obstacles to overcome and provide solutions for. Because of this, the skill of problem solving and coming up with innovative solutions is a highly prized skill. The process of problem solving and understand the root cause of an issue or a potential solution is a highly rewarding and satisfying accomplishment, which is why developing this skill also enhances our self esteem.
Furthermore you are strengthening your intelligence and mental abilities by analyzing different points of information to see how they connect and effect each other, which further helps with the solving and understanding of a problem.
SELF AWARENESS
Self awareness is the process and ability to be aware of your own self, your character and personality, your strengths and weakness, your wants, desires and dislikes as well as your emotions and various behaviors you perform.
In this way, being good at self awareness means you have a good general overview of who you are as an individual and it allows you to continue assessing where you currently are and what you have to do in order to get to who your truly want to be.
Furthermore, people who are highly self aware are also better communicators, have a greater tendency to be natural leaders, have more adept listening skills and generally have been shown to have a higher level of emotional intelligence
DECISION MAKING
I have talked before about the importance of effective decision making and how to become better at this skill here. Good decision making has the ability to positively impact all aspects of your life: Ranging from your personal relationships, your health, your finances, your mindset, working abilities and many more
One of the main reasons why effective decision making is becoming harder and harder to practice is because we are living in a world with more possibilities and opportunities than ever which causes us “decision fatigue”. Additionally, the added factor of living in highly stimulating enviments filled with technology, makes it even harder to focus on the decision we want to make and properly evaluate it.
TIME MANAGEMENT
It is no surprise that time management has made it on to this list of top life skills, as time management is essential for anyone who wants to make the most out of their days and weeks and creating a life that is full of meaning to them.
The beauty of time management is that we all have the same amount of time to work with however most, if not all of this time is within our personal control to decide how to spend and use. In this way, becoming better at time management means that you are better suited to handle your most important and non negotiable deadline bound daily/ weekly/ monthly tasks while also finding time for yourself, for your friends and for your family - all of which are essential components of a fulfilling life.
Additionally, effective time management also means that in turn your stress levels are lower since you know that the way that you are currently spending your time is in line with your greater goals so there is no need to feel guilt or shame for any activity.
I have previously talked about time management and this blog post can be found here
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Life is also inevitably filled with stressful moment, some more, some less, but either way, we all experience stress in some form at some point in our lives. Being able to effectively cope with stress can be the difference of defeating your obstacles or giving up at your first challenge already.
This is why stress management is so important: Because it is inevitable and it allows us to endure during the hard moments which are most important for defining who we are.
If you are able to overcome those hard, stressful moments, then you have the ability to over come challenges, setbacks and ultimately be much more equipped for reaching your personal goals.
Being good at stress management also means being good at managing your emotions as the two are highly inner connected.
If you want to learn more about how to effectively combat stressful emotions, I have written about this topic previously here
CREATIVITY
Creativity is a skill that is becoming ever more appreciated and searched for as being creative differentiates you and makes you unique from others which makes any of your work infinitely more valuable and original to you.
Creativity in this sense does not only refer to creative subjects such as art, music, poetry etc. but is also referring to creative and different ways of thinking, posing new perspectives and questions, finding new ways of doing things and becoming more flexible with a hobby or occupation.
Furthermore creativity also greatly helps with developing problem solving abilities by encouraging “out of the box” thinking, which we have discussed before.
CULTIVATING EMPATHY
Empathy is another essential life skill, although sometimes its power is under appreciated. Being empathetical means that you are good at empathizing with others, meaning that you excel at showing compassion and feelings of understanding to others. Empathy means you show support to anyone who is struggling with something or going through a difficult time and checking in with the people in your life.
A skill such as empathy is not only limited to close personal relationships but is also worthwhile to pursue in the case of people we may not necessarily be very close to or other colleagues at work, as showing empathy is a great way to make new social connections.
In order to be empathetical you have to first have a desire for wanting to care about the emotions and well being of others around you. Empathy has to be genuine as other wise it is much harder to build general trust with the person and in turn makes it harder for them to open up - Overall limiting you from building a healthy relationship.
LEADERSHIP
Leadership is another skill which tends to be under appreciated and also under practiced because a lot of people believe that some people are just natural leaders and others are more suited as followers. I think this thinking is false because your leadership skills can be developed as long as you have the desire to improve on them and also put in the work.
Leadership is not just about leading and learning to take control but is also heavily based on motivating, inspiring and empowering the lives and mindsets of others. As a leader it is your responsibility to see the good in the people around you and encouraging them to realize that part of themselves and in that way becoming the best version of themselves.
Leadership abilities additionally help with boosting your confidence, clarifying your communication with others and building a strong sense of character and trust with those around you.
CRITICAL THINKING
Critical thinking is about learning to think for yourself, instead of always following what everyone else says. It is about assessing your beliefs and your understanding of the workings of this world and seeing how this understanding could be flawed or made more objectively close to the real correct truth.
Critical thinking is not only essential for analyzing your thoughts, emotions and behaviors but is also a key component of making good decisions, taking control of your mood and emotions as well as becoming a generally well informed individual among such a variety of available information.
🧠 KEY IDEAS
The 10 key life skills which we have discussed today include:
Communication
Problem solving
Self awareness
Decision making
Time management
Stress management
Creativity
Empathy
Leadership
Critical thinking
✏️ REFERENCES
Copyright skillsyouneed.com 2011-2023. (n.d.). 10 Core Life Skills to Learn and Master | SkillsYouNeed. https://www.skillsyouneed.com/rhubarb/core-life-skills.html
Vij, R. (2022). WHO’s 10 Core Life Skills & Why We Teach Them. NutSpace. https://nutspace.in/10-core-life-skills/
Breathwork - The Power Of Your Breath
Breathwork is perhaps a rather new topic that is entering mainstream media but is one that has been a part of Buddhist and meditation practices for centuries if not thousands of years. It offers similar benefits as meditation, in the sense that it calms you down and grounds you with your thoughts, with the difference that breathwork has a large impact on calming of the nervous system and even shifting your mood and energy levels; It is essentially a more active form of meditation.
If you are interested in what breathwork has to offer and also what are some common breathing techniques to practice, then please keep on reading. Enjoy <3
WHAT IS BREATHWORK?
Breathwork is a kind of breathing practice through which you practice deep diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing. This kind of practice is designed to improve and enhance various aspects of health such as physical, spiritual and mental health.
Various studies have shown that regular breathwork practice can be of great help when it comes to managing stress, trauma or anxiety.
Breathhwork differs from meditation in the way that meditation is a form of breathwork but breathwork itself does not need to be coupled with meditation practices. Meditation is often paired with various breathing techniques designed to ground and calm you down, whereas breathwork can be practiced independently in order to cultivate feelings of mindfulness and tranquility.
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
Just like meditation, the active practice of breathwork has many positive effects of calming the nervous system and clearing our thoughts and mind.
Regularly practicing a variety of breathwork practices has been shown to:
Elevate your mood
Raise energy levels
Improve sleep quality and depth
Improve respiratory function and management of asthma
Management of stress and anxiety (creating feelings of calmness)
Support a stronger immune function
Better mental focus and clarity
Reduce inflammation within the body
Help with managing PTSD
Possibly also lower hypertension (high blood pressure) in adults
WHY DOES BREATHWORK WORK?
So what makes our breath and practicing breathwork so powerful actually?
Deep breathing with your diaphragm has been shown to be able to positively impact the whole body and it does so through having a direct impact on our nervous system.
Our nervous system can be classified as the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) which is responsible for fight or flight reposes and is most commonly activated in stressful situations. The effects of the sympathetic nervous response are recognized as shallow breathing, a tension in the shoulders, digestive issues or high blood pressure and pulse. On the other hand, we also have what is called a parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) which functions as the rest and digest response and is active when our body is in a state of calm.
Breathwork has been shown to be able to calm down the body through reducing the activation of the SNS and stimulating more activity in the PNS, essentially transitioning your body from a state of distress to calm.
COMMON BREATHING TECHNIQUES
Breathing Through Alternate Nostrils
Method: To begin, use your right thumb to apply pressure onto your right nostril so that it is closed. Next breathe in, but so that air only travels through your left nostril. Afterwards you will do the reverse with the opposite nostrils; Release the right thumb and use the right index finger to close the left nostril, so that you can exhale through the right nostril. Afterwards take a pause between an inhale and exhale and continue alternating your breathing through each nostril.
Useful for: Encouraging your body to relax, by requiring you to selectively focus on your breathing
Deep Abdominal Breathing
Method: This is a technique which focuses on breathing through long deep breaths. As you breathe each inhale, you want to visualize the breath and air filling up your entire body, allowing your chest and belly to expand as you inhale. In the exhale, your belly should retract back towards your spine will lowering and relaxing your chest hold.
Useful for: Calming down the sympathetic nervous system.
Breath Of Fire:
Method: To begin, inhale through your nose so that your abdominal muscles are relaxes and then during your exhale, you want to engage your core muscles and strongly push the air our of your body through the nose or mouth. Due to this forcefulness of the exhale, that is where this technique gets its name from.
Useful for: Although this a rather more advance technique, the breath of fire works to reenergize your body and elevate your mood
The 4-7-9 Breath
Method: Start by emptying all air out of your lungs and then inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, then hold your breath for 7 seconds and lastly exhale through the mouth for 8 seconds. This is then repeated 4 times through.
It is additionally beneficial if during your inhale you image that you are breathing in uplifting positive energy and as you are holding your breaths, try to visualize the air that entered your body traveling upwards your body and with it pulling everything that is negative or does not serve you. During the exhale try to imagine excess energy being released through out the mouth.
Useful for: Calming down the body through lowering our heart rate, bringing us into the present moment wile calming down the nervous system. This kind of breath work is beneficial for anyone who is feeling overwhelmed, anxious, triggered, angry or has issues with sleeping.
The 4-4-4 Breath (Box breathing)
Method: Begin by releasing all air from your lugs and holding your breath for 4 seconds, then breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds after which you hold your breath again for 4 seconds and lastly exhale through your nose for 4 seconds. This pattern of breathing should be followed for 5 minutes in order to feel the effects.
Useful for: Enhancing concentration and producing calming effects on the body such as lowering heart rate ad lowering stress levels. It can be beneficial to use in the morning to wake up the mind, in the middle of the day if you experience a decline in energy or before a large project which requires high levels of focus
The 5-5 Breath
Method: Begin with observing the natural rhythm and length of your inhales and exhales. Afterwards, for 1 minute, start by breathing in for 4 seconds and then exhaling for 4 seconds. Next repeat this for 5 seconds instead of 4, and then gradually increasing your way up to 7-10 seconds. The idea is to begin with one minute of breathing in and out for 4 seconds each and then increasing this time span for more seconds, so that overall the practice lasts up to 20 minutes, but can of course also be shorter.
Useful for: Calming down the body and creating an overall sense of calm
I hope that todays post had inspired you to practice more of breathwork and that you were able to learn something new. I think that an occasional breathwork practice can definitely be beneficial, especially in stressful situations where we would benefit from calming down and thinking with a clear head.
Thank you for reading.
How To Make Better Decisions
I have to be honest; one of my main weaknesses is making good decisions in a relatively short time span. Often I use several days if not a week, stressing out over the idea that I have to make a decision, and still after a week get no closer to making a final decision.
Because we all have to make decisions in our lives, wether it is the small decision of what we will have for breakfast to very important long term decisions such as what we want to study or which career we want to head into, I wanted to write this blog post, because I believe that making genuinely good decisions is actually not easy and something that we could all learn more about.
Making good decisions takes the consideration of many different facets and often also takes more time to properly think things through. For this reason, I have written and identified a list of key steps and considerations which you can go through every time you are in the process of making an important decision.
I hope that you find that list useful and that it can hopefully make it easier for you to make decisions you are proud of.
Get to know your own needs and wants
Ask yourself why you are choosing to make a choice in the first place: Why are you deciding now, what do you hope to achieve with this decision and what are its intended goals.
Identify your current goals, priorities and main values: Ask yourself if by making this decision you will support these aspects of yourself or go against them? How can you reduce conflict in this area?
Consider what would be your intuitive response to a decision: What does your intuition tell you?
Weigh the pros and cons of the decision
Take into account the consequences of the decision (The short and long term costs and benefits of the decision taken)
What is the most likely outcome of me making this decision?
What is the best and worst outcome that could happen in the near future and long term future?
Am I prepared for the outcome if things don't turn out as I expected them to?
Minimizing regret: Consider wether you will regret making this decision or saying yes/ no to a decision? This is key because sometimes we automatically say yes to everything and before we know it we are doing things which drain us instead of energize us.
Minimizing conflicts: If you think that your decision will cause someone else to have a bad response, try and put yourself into their shoes and think about how they will likely react and how you could best manage that situation.
Keeping your options and possibilities and open: This will give you breadth of the various other opportunities and perspective that exist. For this, you could also ask relevant experts or close family members / friends for advice on what they would do in your position. This doesn't mean you have to completely follow their advice, but try and understand their perspective and take from it what is useful to you.
Narrow down your choices: Often when faces with too many possibilities, we get overwhelmed and find it hard to listen to ourselves and decide on something. Because of this, try and narrow down your possibilities and keep the ones that really excite you or are really important to you.
Optimizing you decision making abilities
Take your time with the decision process if you can: Good decisions require time because a lot of thinking, strategizing and planning is involved.
Identify what time in the day you find it easiest to make decisions: Usually the time of day you experience least stress such as in the morning or during weekends.
Manage your stress levels: Don't make a impulsive decision just because you are stressed about making a decision so you go with something just for the sake of not having to decide anymore.
Keep your basics in check: Get enough sleep, stay hydrated and don't be hungry when making important decisions.
Deeper breathing: Take deeper breaths that will stimulate more oxygen to flow into your brain which can enhance your thinking and clarity of choice.
Writing down your decision making process: Writing down helps you to additionally process your thinking and put it into perspective.
I hope that wit this blog post you were able to get some refreshing and genuinely useful advice on how to make better decision in any area of your life. Good decisions making is not easy and is really something that you get better at the more decisions you make, so why not take some time to learn to how to better your decision making abilities, which is after all a very valuable skill to have.
Thank you for reading ad enjoy the rest of your day or evening.
Principles And Questions To Carry With You Through 2023
Todays topic was partially inspired by the book that I am currently reading; “Best Self” by Mike Bayer, where the aim of the book is to analyze 6 main areas of your life (Social, Personal, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment and Spiritual Development) and figure out what in these areas you are currently doing good with and what you still want to improve on. I like the book because it is full of interactive writing exercises and I like how it is structured, which makes it easy to follow along and make the best use out of the genuinely useful chapters.
For this reason, I wanted to write up a list of general life principles that I think everyone can benefit from following/ incorporating more often into their lifestyle and also a include a practical list of questions aimed at enhancing your own personal discovery.
Wishing you pleasant reading ahead 😊
GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Focus on doing your best instead of aiming for perfection
This is something that has become some wheat of a mantra for me, or something that I regularly repeat myself. I find that it is easy for me to get caught up in perfectionistic ideals where the goal is to do something absolutely right instead of focusing on learning and growth.
I find that this mindset can be very debilitating and genuinely slow down your progression as a person because
It makes you fear making mistakes which means that in theory you are afraid of learning and making progress - You essentially choose to stop living. You fear mistakes because they are a sign of you not being perfect in something which is an irrational thought in the first place because “perfection” in itself is a subjective experience.
It is a very unrealistic expectation to put onto yourself, meaning that when you do make a mistake (which we all do), you start obsessing over these little imperfections and you can become a very harsh critic on yourself.
Be your authentic self instead of changing yourself to fit others
This is an idea that is partially inspired by the book that I am reading and also my general experiences at university. I think that at the start when you are settling into a new environment and don't know many people, as soon as you do make a connecting with someone you can sometimes become very clingy and over dependent on that person for your social life. As a result you may start changing parts of yourself such as appearance, behavior or personality so that you can fit in more with that person or group, and feel less left out.
This makes sense to a degree as we all want to belong, but ask yourself is it worth the cost of loosing your real self? Would you prefer people to know you for your real self and enjoy being around that version of you or a made up facade you put up when you are around them?
I now consider it to be more important to be my genuine self when I am around people, meaning that I act, talk and think like the person I really am instead of someone I pretend to be. This makes it easier for me to attract other like minded people and see who I genuinely enjoy spending my time with.
Take things one by one and learn to take the time to slow down
This is a principle that often gets forgotten about, especially in the business of the every day, but I really believe that it is essentially to at least once a week or once a day find a moment to slow down a little bit. It can be for as little as taking 5-10 minutes for deep breaths in the morning or having a more laid back weekend afternoon. It is up to you, but implementing some more stillness into your life will help you with:
Reducing your levels of stress (Read more about stress here)
Better stress management for future stressful events
Becoming more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment
Finding it easier to introspect and find out how certain things make you feel
Finding more enjoyment in the little things of everyday life
Life already happens fast enough around us, so why not take some time to momentarily slow it down?
I have also written about how to find more peace and tranquility in daily life here
Be mindful of your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself
I find the idea of negative self talk quite interesting because it makes me think, why would someone want to effectively be working against themselves? Against what is good for them? This essentially means that you are your own obstacle to your growth.
So, if you do find that, that you are someone who struggles with low self esteem and experiences chronic negative self talk such as “I suck at this, I will never be (x), I cant possibly do that, I am a failure etc.) then I would say the first step is to become aware of the thoughts you are having and when you get them. Consider what triggers this negative self talk for you; Is it when you are on social media browsing and comparing yourself to others or is it when you feel lonely and lack a support system?
Next, try to aim for developing a more open and growth orientated mindset where you reframe the negative things you say into more positive messages such as “I can do anything I put my mind and energy towards, I am just the way I need to be”. The more you practice these positive self affirmations and messages the more your mind will genuinely start believing them and as a result your confidence and what you achieve will greatly improve.
If you wouldn't say to someone else what your current negative self talk says to you, then don't say those things to yourself. It is only feeding into negativity when really you deserve to treat yourself like you treat any other person you really love - with love, belief and support.
Put your full presence and energy into any activity you intentionally choose to spend your time doing
This is a powerful thought because often we find ourselves multi tasking with different things or even if we are just doing one thing, we feel like our mind is in 100 other places and thoughts. Because of this, I think it can be beneficial to say to yourself that whatever you will be working on today or within the next x amount of time, you will choose to focus exclusively on that, and all other things will wait for after.
This will not only improve the quality of your work and sharpen your thought process behind these tasks (reducing the number of time consuming mistakes you make), but also shorten the amount of time it takes you to get something done.
Take care of yourself first and then everything else
This is often heard as some what a cliche but it does carry truth to it. If you find that you are not operating from your best level of self (poor sleep, low energy levels, distracted thoughts etc.) then not only will this make it much harder to tackle anything you have going on that day but also make it much harder for you to help others and maintain good social relations.
You feel much more fulfilled when you don't just live life for yourself but you live it by being of service to others
Often we might start dong things from a personal gain standpoint where we are doing things exclusively to benefit ourselves in what ever way that may be. While it is important to do things which bring benefit and pleasure to you, it is equally important that what you are doing, is also serving others in some shape or form. Any job or activity can be seen as solving a problem or meeting a need that people have, with which you are providing help, utility and service.
We all want to feel like we are valued and that we are working towards something bigger than just ourselves because when we find that balance of doing something which lights a spark inside you while also creating work that is meaningful and useful to others, that is where true happiness and fulfillment are found.
Go beyond yourself and ask yourself in what ways can you be helpful, useful or generally of service to to others in your everyday (it can be small or big)
Genuine happiness and satisfaction can not be obtained through external sources alone
Nowadays it is very easy to be convinced with the idea that sustained and long term happiness ands satisfaction can be bought through external means such as material goods, fancy lunches and having a surplus of everything. While everyone needs a certain level of materialism to be content and meet their needs, an excess here will not make you any happier especially when we are talking about being genuinely satisfied by your life.
The point I am trying to make is that while materialistic goods can spark temporary moments of joy and happiness, it is only a short term fix that quickly wears off leaving us thirsty for more; What was previously the goal for us is no longer enough and so we continuously want more.
This is a sign to reevaluate your priorities and really consider what brings you genuine long term happiness. Most often, true happiness arises both from internal sources such as having a good level of self esteem and attitude towards yourself as well as your environment such as the people you surround yourself with and the experiences you live.
Quit complaining and be proactive about your problems instead
Quite a simple statement but one that we often forget, since we are all sometimes victims of this.
When it comes to problems that you do have control over, you either have the option of continuing to complain about it and nothing changes or you choose to act and solve that problem so that it no longer bothers you.
When it comes to issues that are outside of your circle of control, then you can either place less importance on those problems/ decide to accept it and move on with our life or if you really do care, then do what you can to get into a position where you do have a influence over the issue and try to resolve it that way.
No one has a perfect past, so learn to make peace with anything that might be troubling you and learn to move on
Linking back to the previous point, with any traumatic, negative or unwanted experience in your past, you have the ability of analyzing your emotions towards that particular event and then coming to the stage where you have analyzed the problem enough that you are ready to accept that it is a thing of the past and can move on from that experience.
Of course it is useful to learn out of any negative experience, but being stuck in a permanently negative state of rumination or regret is also not the point, so make peace with your past and - It will almost feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you have gotten a fresh new energetic start.
Never choose to stop learning and growing in life
This links a lot to the first point I made in this list, where we often think that as soon as we have stopped going to school or getting a formal education, that we have learnt everything that we needed to and we can stop learning.
I think this is a wrong approach, especially since each year our world is becoming ever more complex, interconnected and fast paced meaning that new information, products, technologies, ideas, theories, solutions and advancements are coming out. So if we really want to feel like an integrated unit within a society, it is our job to stay up to date as much as possible and continuously absorb new information around us. Be like a full time “sponge”; thirsty for knowledge.
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
Because I believe that reflection is a very powerful and genuinely useful tool to learn how to use, I wanted to write a list of general reflective questions which you can use at any time and I think are relevant to any individual, whatever stage in your life you might currently be in.
These questions are meant for your own personal introspection and to get to know your current strengths, weaknesses, points to improve on and trying to identify what kind of life really resonates with you. You can even answer these same questions every couple of months or at the start of each year to see how your own answers change as you learn more about yourself.
If you are additionally interested in the process of journaling and reflecting, I have written the following blog posts on this topic:
What are your top 5 core values and do you currently live through those values? If not, how could you change that, or is it that those values are not your true values?
Consider what actually matters most to you in the end? What actually makes a “good day” good for you?
Which beliefs/ mindsets, old routines and genuine fears are holding you back from doing what you genuinely want to do and living your best life?
What would your ideal day look like? What would you spend your time doing and who would you be with?
What are activities that make you feel truly alive and when was the last time you did them? How could you do them more often?
What are the constructive habits that you want to build and unhealthy habits you want to let go of?
What are some things you currently want to make a change about in your life (Work related, personal, hobbies, health, relationships, attitude etc.)
What are things which are currently worrying your mind? Are those worries and fears rational and if so, what would be the best way for you to manage them?
In what ways am I living life authentically and true to me right now? In what ways do I still have to create alignment between what I currently do and who I really want to be?
Who are people that genuinely inspire you and continue to fill you with new uplifting energy?
What are some things or people you could not imagine living without? How can you take them less for granted and express gratitude for them more often?
What would my absolutely ideal life look like? (Where would you live, your occupation, family?, hobbies, social circle etc.)
I hope that you were able to get some genuinely useful tools and insight through todays post and that it helps you on your own reflective personal growth journey.
Feel free to adapt any of the questions above to make them more suitable or specific to you.
Thank you for taking your time today to read this ☀️